Final Idiotsy VII
by Dark-Shadow-Raider
Summary: Basically, some idiots went on a quest to stop the evil empire that rules 99.9 percent of the world for some reason... But now that they're out of Mildew they're trying to kill Pornoroth!
1. The first reactor

Ok, I made this a bit easier to read, not that you read it anyway, Please R&R. Also added a new chapter, but Chances are you didn't read it anyway, and won't. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
CircleHard presents:  
  
Final Idiotsy 7  
  
By Dark Shadow Raider  
  
Air: What's an Idiotsy?  
  
Tarot: Shut up.  
  
Our story begins as an idiot with a board sits in a train next to an obese Freak.  
  
Tarot: Hey!!! I'm not obese! It's all muscle.  
  
Air: Right.  
  
Tarot: Remember, once we enter the Playdoh Reactor, Air will place the bomb, Jenny and Big will decipher the codes, and the rest of will get paid even though we just run around.  
  
Big: Fwoggy, Fwoggy whewe are you?  
  
Jenny: Why did you team me up with a moronic cat with a big verbal problem?!? I want answers now!  
  
Tarot: He offered to work in exchange for a frog. I would have to spend about 5,000 more krill normally.  
  
Jenny: How did he get here anyway? We're CircleHard, he's Sega.  
  
Big: Big looked for Fwoggy all awound; I found a big hole in twee. In Fowest. Hole got me hewe, then hole got gone. Fwoggy, whewe are you?  
  
Air: I have a board! *  
  
*Not what you think, you are disgusting.  
  
Tarot: This is dumb, man! All you guys buck up or I'll deduct your pay! I do have feelings man! I'm all flesh and blood, 'cept for this arm here.  
  
Air: How did that happen?  
  
Tarot: The guys at GOOD GUY shot my arm off! I was gonna' have a prosthetic arm, but I got this!  
  
The camera shows that Tarot has one normal arm on his left and his right being a tennis racket joined to the elbow.  
  
Tarot: The worst thing is I'm right handed! $%*&! GOOD GUY Corporation! Just a ton o' $%*& @#%&%! Guys in $#%&^$# costumes!  
  
Jenny: You know; Air used to be in GOOD GUY.  
  
Tarot: I know.  
  
Jenny: Well I-  
  
Suddenly the train stops and the guys jump out.  
  
Tarot: Assault on Playdoh reactor 1 commences.....Now!  
  
The guys run to the Playdoh reactor and enter it.  
  
Tarot: Remember, we must stop GOOD GUY!  
  
Air: Why is GOOD GUY the name of an evil corporation?  
  
Tarot: I dunno, you were in GOOD GUY, don't you know?  
  
Air: No.  
  
Big: Code desiphewed!  
  
Jenny: You deciphered the code on your own! Whoa!  
  
Big: Yep, the code was 197097496593696596983-9648!  
  
Jenny: The code is 22980, it says right here.  
  
Big: No, the code is 197097496593696596983-9646  
  
Jenny: Right.  
  
They go to the next room.  
  
Big: The code is 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Jenny: No it ain't.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Tarot: I think you should show me some respect here.  
  
Air: No  
  
Tarot: Well you know wha-  
  
Air: What's this group called anyway?  
  
Tarot: Well,  
  
Air: How bout' The Super Dudes?  
  
Tarot: No. We're called-  
  
Air: Or how about The Death Squad?  
  
Tarot: No. We're-  
  
Air: Or maybe-  
  
Tarot: WE'RE CALLIN OURSELVES-  
  
Big: Code is 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Jenny: Will you shut up?!?  
  
Tarot: Yeah, let's call our group 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Air: Fine.  
  
The team goes deeper into the reactor, and they soon find an elevator. They get to a tall room with many ladders leading down.  
  
Jenny: Big, I'll bet you fifty krill that I can jump off and survive!  
  
Big: OK.  
  
Jenny jumps and lands with her foot stuck in a hole on a catwalk.  
  
Jenny: #@%$  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Tarot: Here's where to plant the bomb, Air. **Laughs**  
  
Air: What's so funny?  
  
Tarot: Air! *laughter* what kind of a name is **Laughs** Air?!  
  
Air: Don't blame me; RPG heroes always have stupid names.  
  
Tarot: Cloud, Squall, Sora, Dart. You have a point.  
  
Air: Yes.  
  
Tarot: Just plant the bomb **Laughs** AIR!!!  
  
Air: What bomb?  
  
Tarot: The Bomb.  
  
Air: Oh Yeah, the bomb. I left it on the train.  
  
Tarot: You IDIOT!!  
  
Suddenly Air falls down and has a flashback:  
  
???: This isn't just a reactor!!!  
  
Air: Who are you, what are you doing here?  
  
???: I make suffering on a deserted mountain, FUN!!!  
  
Air: I'm gonna' go now.  
  
Air: Sorry, look it says here that you can enter the self- destruct code as a substitute for a bomb.  
  
Tarot: Why did you have a flashback and who was that? Oh, forget it, we don't know the freakin' code!!!  
  
Big: Code is 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Air: Ummmmm.  
  
Big runs to the control panel to enter 197097496593696596983- 9648, to everyone's surprise, it works.  
  
Woman's voice: Self-destruct online. 13 minutes until your doom.  
  
Suddenly, a robot comes; Air whacks it with his board.  
  
Meanwhile, in the board.  
  
Chairman: So it's agreed, the top-secret code will be 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Treasurer: OK.  
  
Director: I think that that guy is about to use us to whack that giant robot.  
  
Treasurer: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Chairman: Quiet you.  
  
Back to our heroes.  
  
Air: It's not that kind of Board! It's a wooden board that I smack stuff with.  
  
Tarot: That was even dumber then the 197097496593696596983-9648 joke.  
  
Big: Code is 197097496593-  
  
Tarot: WE KNOW!!!  
  
Air: I like stuff.  
  
Jenny: Aren't you forgetting about the giant robot in front of you?!  
  
Air: Aren't you forgetting that you're stuck in a catwalk?  
  
Jenny: Oh yeah.  
  
Air pushes the robot off the edge into a pool of Sulfuric acid.  
  
Air: Cool.  
  
Tarot: Let's leave.  
  
The team runs up the stairs and Air bumps into Jenny  
  
Jenny: @$%^! Air you ^#%@&, I'll Kill You!  
  
Air: For 100 krill I'll save you.  
  
Jenny: @%$# NO!!!  
  
Woman's voice: 4 minutes until self-destruct.  
  
Jenny: Here's 1,000 krill! Save me!!!  
  
Air pulls Jenny up.  
  
Jenny: Here's you're $@%& krill.  
  
Air: You're welcome.  
  
They run out and get into the control room  
  
Big: Code is 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Jenny: WILL YOU SHUT UP?!!??!?!  
  
The team leaves the reactor just as it explodes.  
  
Air: Why did the reactor blow up even though there were 3 minutes left?  
  
Dark Shadow Raider: Well we need drama.  
  
Air: I'll give you drama.  
  
Air jumps off the bridge and into some sulfuric acid.  
  
Dark Shadow Raider: I've lost way too many stunt men this way.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So, that's it. Read Chapter 2 if you want. PLEASE REVIEW!! Flame me if you like, who cares, I just want SOMEONE to show me that they read this. 


	2. ACRONYMS!

Later.  
  
Tarot: Guys, split up and meet back at the hideout.  
  
The guys run off in random directions, most of them run into each other.  
  
Air: Uh, Tarot,  
  
Tarot: Air?!!? I thought you died!  
  
Air: That was just the stunt guy.  
  
Tarot: Oh. If this is about your pay, save it until we get to the hideout.  
  
Air: Actually, I wanted to know where the hideout is.  
  
Tarot: Just run in a random direction and you'll find us.  
  
Air: OK.  
  
Air runs into the destroyed reactor and gets burned by the flame.  
  
DSR: I am losing WAY too many stuntmen.  
  
Later still.  
  
Air is running and he runs into a girl.  
  
Girl: What's going on?  
  
Air : You better get out of here.  
  
Girl: OK.  
  
The girl walks off.  
  
Air: Wait, aren't you going to sell me some crap for a low price?  
  
Girl: No.  
  
Air: Why? You're supposed to give me some worthless junk for free.  
  
Girl: Go away.  
  
Air goes to a bridge and sees some GOOD GUY soldiers.  
  
Soldier 1: Die!  
  
Soldier 2: I like milk.  
  
Soldier 3: Die!  
  
Soldier 4: I like milk.  
  
Soldier 5: Die!  
  
Soldier 6: I like milk.  
  
Soldier 7: I'm noticing a pattern here.  
  
Air looks down and sees some railroad tracks beneath the bridge.  
  
Soldiers: WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. GIVE YOURSELF UP.  
  
Air hears a train.  
  
Soldiers: GIVE UP ALREADY!!!!!!  
  
Air jumps down onto the tracks, he lands on the tracks directly as opposed to on a train.  
  
Air: Ow.  
  
He then sees the train heading at him.  
  
Air: %^#$&^!  
  
The train hits Him.  
  
Air: %#$&.  
  
Air climbs onto and then into the train.  
  
In the train.  
  
Tarot: Air! Where were you?  
  
Jenny: Jeesh Air.  
  
Air: Sorry.  
  
Tarot: You better be sorry you #^@^ idiot! You were sittin' on your lazy @$$ and didn't give a #^@^ about us you #&&$%!  
  
Jenny: Here's our stop.  
  
The team jumps out.  
  
Tarot: Here's our hideout.  
  
Air: A town? Are all these other guys members of the group too?  
  
Tarot: No you IDIOT!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Idiots Dive In Orange Tanks?  
  
Tarot: No. And the town isn't the HIDOUT! The tavern over there is.  
  
The camera shows a run-down bar.  
  
Air: Does that stand for His Insane Doctor Over Uses Traps?  
  
Tarot: When I say something in Caps, it doesn't mean it's an acronym. Take GOOD GUY for example.  
  
Air: Does that stand for Gold Orangutans Oppose Dumb Guys Under Yaks?  
  
Tarot: Shut up. How about when the soldiers said GIVE UP ALREADY in all caps?  
  
Air: How do you know about that?  
  
Tarot: That's irrelevant.  
  
Air: Anyway, that stood for Gray Idiotic Vultures Envy Ugly People And 'Lucy' Reruns Eating Aardvarks Dyed Yellow.  
  
Tarot: OK, now really shut up.  
  
They run into the tavern and see an ugly PERSON with a-  
  
Air: Does that stand for People Eat Red Stuff On Newspapers?  
  
DSR: No.  
  
Anyway, an ugly Person and a kid are in the tavern.  
  
Air: Tiara!??! You're the bartender?!  
  
Tiara: Yes you jerk. Remember?  
  
Air: I don't care that the planets dieing, I just want my money.  
  
Tarot: What?  
  
Air: Well, we forgot to have this conversation in Playdoh reactor 1.  
  
Kid: Daddy!  
  
Tarot: Son, I mean daughter!  
  
Kid: I missed you daddy.  
  
Tiara: Air, want a drink?  
  
Air: Yes.  
  
Tiara: TOO BAD YOU #%$#%@#!!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for-  
  
Tarot: Look Air, Pinball!  
  
Air: YAY!!!!  
  
Air goes to the pinball machine and starts breaking it. Suddenly, he gets lowered down to a basement.  
  
Air: Cool.  
  
Everyone else gets down into the hideout.  
  
Tarot: Let's watch the news.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So, that's it more as soon as I get 2 reviews. 2. 


	3. Aliens & Super Dudes

Thank you for reading chapters 1&2. As you probably know, they went to the Hideout, now they must watch the news. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
They turn on a plasma screen to the news.  
  
Reporter (on TV): Today on channel 9,999,999 news: a rebel group called "The Super Dudes", attacked Playdoh reactor 1 today-  
  
Air: Hey! That group stole our name and our goal!  
  
Tarot: Idiot. That wasn't our name anyway.  
  
Reporter: Many people were killed in the-  
  
Big: BORING!  
  
Air: I concur.  
  
Tarot: Concur?  
  
Air: Word-a-day calendar.  
  
Air pulls the remote off the table and randomly starts pushing buttons.  
  
Weird guy on TV: We'll be right back to 'The guy in the cap' after these commercial messages.  
  
TV Ad: This Fall.  
  
A large tree-like thing, possibly a large tree, appeared one  
night  
  
The residents of a nearby town sent a search party to  
investigate  
  
The search went pretty well.  
  
Cut to some guys walking through a field:  
  
Guy 1: Yay!  
  
Guy 2: Yay!  
  
Both: Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! No! I mean, Yay!  
  
But when they arrived, they saw that the tree was made of a  
wood-like substance  
  
Cut to the guys running back:  
  
Guys: No! No! No! No! No! No! OW! Stupid Tiger Trap!  
  
And on the way back, they saw a crop circle.  
  
They're coming.  
  
To your home VIDEO!!!!!!  
  
"Woody Aliens."  
  
Not associated in any way with Woody Allen.  
  
Back to our heroes:  
  
Tarot: That was stupid.  
  
Air: I want to' see it some time!  
  
Tarot: Why were they afraid of wood anyway?  
  
Air: And did that stand for Video Idiots Die Early On?  
  
Tarot: I never thought I'd say this, but it's plausible.  
  
Air: Really?  
  
Tarot: No.  
  
Tiara: That was stupid.  
  
Air: What should we blow up next?  
  
Tarot: Playdoh reactor 5. Oh, and guys, we earned a reputation as 'the super dudes', so that's our name.  
  
Jenny: WHAT!!!!!  
  
Tarot: It ain't that bad.  
  
Tiara: Yeah it is. I don't want to join a group called 'the super dudes'  
  
Air: Then don't join us.  
  
Tiara: I don't want to leave Tarot alone.  
  
The lift comes down and the girl, (Tarot's daughter, not the one who Air tried to get junk from), is riding it.  
  
Tarot: Hey, Charlene.  
  
Girl: Hi Daddy!  
  
Air: Wait, if Tiara joins us who's gonna' watch this bar?  
  
Tiara and Tarot: Charlene.  
  
Girl (Charlene): WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!!!  
  
Air: She's pretty hyper. Why are letting a four year old run a tavern?  
  
Tiara: The Economy is just so bad that kids run bars all the time.  
  
Tarot (to Tiara): Good save.  
  
Tiara: And she sometimes drinks Vodkas while she's working.  
  
Air: YOU HAVE VODKAS!!!!!!  
  
Tiara: Yeah, you want one?  
  
Air: No, I was speaking in an acronym. I said-  
  
Tarot: (to Tiara) plug your ears.  
  
Air: .Yellow Osprey Under Hats Are Very Easy Vulture Order Dingo, Kraylids Also Stink.  
  
Tiara: Was that relevant to anything?  
  
Air: No.  
  
Tiara beats Air to a pulp.  
  
Tarot: You're in.  
  
Air: This ain't the Matrix, ya' know.  
  
Tarot: Shut up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So, yeah. If you're wondering, that movie 'Woody aliens' won't be coming to a theater near you. I made it up for no reason except for humor, and I know it has nothing to do with FFVII. Also, this chapter, I had already written. So don't expect to see updates so soon anymore.  
  
To Be Continued (If I get more reviews). 


	4. Flashbacks & Trains

Hey. Welcome to chapter 4!!! If you read the last chapter, you know that Tiara just beat up Air, and he was angry. Now read!! Oh yeah, this chapter, I also wrote a while ago, but don't always expect these to come so soon. Also, incase you're wondering, I'm doing the Acronym joke because in the game, SOLDIER and AVALANCHE are all caps, so it seems like they are acronyms. Now Read!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Air leaves the basement in anger and almost leaves the bar when.  
  
Tiara: I can't believe you're leaving!  
  
Air: And I can't believe it ain't butter. What do you mean?  
  
Tiara: The Promise, remember?  
  
Air: No.  
  
Tiara: Then I'll remind you with a cheesy flashback  
  
Enter flashback of 7 years ago:  
  
A small Tiara and Air are sitting in a tree fort  
  
Air: Tomorrow I'm leaving this town to go to Mildew and join GOOD GUY.  
  
Tiara: The city of Mildew, Everyone is leaving JigglyStem to go there, tell me, is it just for chicks and money?  
  
Air: Yeah- Uhhhhh. No. It's to meat the great PornoRoth!  
  
Tiara: Promisemethatifyouleaveyouwillsavemeifievergetintotrouble!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Please Remember Only My Iguana Says Eek My Echidna Talks Half Acronyms To Igor F*** You Ogre Under-  
  
Tiara: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for-  
  
End of flashback  
  
Important: If you didn't pay attention or don't know much about FFVII then use this reference:  
  
Midgar = Mildew  
  
Sephiroth = PornoRoth (Now, see why this is PG-13?)  
  
Nibleheim = JigglyStem  
  
Back to our "heroes":  
  
Air: So?  
  
Tiara: You agreed to help me if I'm in danger. That's why you should stay with 'the super dudes'.  
  
Air: I never agreed to that, and besides, you aren't in any danger.  
  
Tiara whispers something to Air  
  
Air: I'LL STAY!!!!!  
  
Tiara: Good.  
  
Our heroes rest and in the morning.  
  
Tarot: Onward to Playdoh reactor 5!!!!  
  
He looks around and sees that his team members are still asleep.  
  
Tarot: #%$^ alarm clock.  
  
Tiara (waking up): Tarot, why did you scream?  
  
Tarot: It was Air's fault.  
  
Tiara: AIR!!!!!!!!  
  
Air (groggy): I-  
  
Big: Fwoggy!  
  
DSR: No, I said groggy.  
  
Big: Dang.  
  
Later.  
  
Tarot: OK, here's the train station, we'll jump off at Playdoh reactor 5.  
  
Air: Question, how do we know what reactor is number 5?  
  
Tarot: Who knows??!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Air: This author is weird.  
  
DSR: I heard that!  
  
Air: Let's go to that reactor.  
  
The team goes into the train  
  
Tarot: Every day, the Playdoh reactors suck the life-blood of the planet.  
  
Jenny: We look suspicious, so we use fake Ids.  
  
Air: Thanks for telling me, but did these guys have to know?  
  
He points to everyone on the train  
  
Jenny: No. Thanks to a plot-hole, they can't hear us.  
  
Air: Really?!  
  
He goes up to a man  
  
Air: DKWAEGFNDVN, GFRFVDBLJHFB!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Man: Shut your mouth.  
  
Air: Jenny, you lied.  
  
Jenny: Shut up.  
  
Air starts talking gobbledygook to the passengers  
  
Tarot: We need to-  
  
A loud siren and a voice interrupt him  
  
Voice: Unidentified passengers on board. Proceed to train car lockdown.  
  
Jenny: How did they find us?  
  
Air: Who knows?  
  
They run to the back of the train  
  
Big: I like cheese.  
  
Air: Why did you say that?  
  
Big: I haven't spoken for a while.  
  
Tarot: Idiot.  
  
Jenny: Let's go.  
  
Tarot: K.  
  
Air: K, what's that stand for? Kraylids? Krust the klown? Kartoons?  
  
Tarot: This isn't Donkey Kong*.  
  
* In Donkey Kong games, everything that would start with a C starts with a K.  
  
Krusty (from 'The Simpsons'): Hey, Hey! At least get my name right.  
  
Air: Let's go to the reactor.  
  
They jump off the train and walk through the tunnel; soon they see a laser grid.  
  
Tarot: After comin this far, only an amateur get caught by da' lazor grid.'  
  
Jenny: When did you become a gangster?  
  
Air: Pretty lights.  
  
He touches the laser and receives an electric shock  
  
Air: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!  
  
Tarot: Let's go.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So, yeeahhh. Weird. Uhh. I don't own Krusty the Klown, Matt G. does. Umm. REVIEW!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for-  
  
DSR: Shut up. 


	5. Meeting the president

Ok, you know the drill, this is a VERY short chapter, but hey, I added two. As always, Review. Since you now have two chapters, review both. Once I get 6 new Reviews from DIFFERENT people, I'll continue. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
They get to the reactor.  
  
Tarot: @$%&, I forgot the bomb!  
  
Air: We can use the self-destruct code.  
  
Tarot: We don't know the freaking code!  
  
Big: Code is 19-  
  
Tarot: Big, I know what you're gonna say, and that's not the code!!!!!  
  
Jenny: It was last time.  
  
Tarot: Don't you think they would have changed the code?  
  
Jenny: No.  
  
They get through the reactor. At the core.  
  
Tiara: I haven't spoken for a while and people may forget about me, so I'm talking.  
  
Air: Let's go blow this up.  
  
Tarot: Cool, the code is written on the core.  
  
Air enters the code and the team runs out.  
  
Tarot: Why isn't there a timer this time?  
  
DSR: I don't want to risk losing more stunt guys.  
  
The team goes through the reactor. backwards. Soon they reach a locked door.  
  
Tarot: What do we do now?  
  
Enter flashback.  
  
Tiara is crying on her Dad's corpse, she then takes his wallet.  
  
Tiara: Cool!  
  
???:  
  
End flashback  
  
Air: We should go around to the side where we'll find 3 buttons, if they are all pressed at once, this door will open.  
  
Tiara: How do you know that?  
  
Air: I read the guide.  
  
The team goes around the side and sees three buttons on a table.  
  
Tiara: Ok. One, Two-  
  
Air slams his button.  
  
Tiara: Idiot. We should each stand in front of a button, and on three we hit it.  
  
Tarot: Ok.  
  
Tiara: On three-  
  
Air slams the button  
  
Tiara: Idiot!  
  
Air: You said three.  
  
Tiara: One, Two, Three!  
  
Tiara and Tarot hit their buttons at the same time. Air just stands there.  
  
Tiara: AIR!!!!  
  
Air: Does-  
  
Tiara: No, it doesn't stand for anything! Pay attention!  
  
Air: Fine, I'll count. One, Two, Tree! Just making sure you're paying attention. One, Two, Bee! Sorry, Three!  
  
They all, by a miracle, hit it at the same time. They run through the door and are on a long catwalk. They see a strange figure.  
  
Figure: Hello super dudes.  
  
Air: President Spitwad!!!  
  
Spitwad: Right Air. I, the owner of Playdoh energy-  
  
Air: Just send out the giant robot.  
  
Spitwad: OK.  
  
A huge robot comes out of nowhere.  
  
Battle start:  
Enemies: Wind Breaker (x1)  
  
Air, Tarot, and Tiara start hitting it, Jenny, Big and the rest just stand there for no reason.  
  
Wind Breaker: Die!!!!!!  
  
Wind Breaker charges up. Air uses some magic spell and shocks WB (the robot, not the station)  
  
Tiara: Cool.  
  
Tarot starts pummeling WB with his tennis-racket arm.  
  
Wind Breaker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wind Breaker lets out a beam of light that hits Air. Air starts flashing and does a limit break.  
  
LIMIT: Cowardlyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Air starts attacking the robot like mad.  
  
WB: AHHHHH!!!! Splinters!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wind Breaker hits Tarot who gets his limit up also.  
  
LIMIT: Some Big Weird Smash Thingy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tarot Charges his racket up and it becomes huge, he attacks the robot and the racket-arm goes to normal size, the robot explodes.  
  
Battle end  
  
Air: HI MOM!!!  
  
Tarot: Idiot.  
  
The explosion destroys the part of the catwalk that Air is on. He starts hanging onto the edge for dear life.  
  
Tarot: Hold on Air!!!  
  
Air: Oh Tarot, I forgot to tell you, (whispers something).  
  
Tarot: Freak!!!  
  
Tarot stomps on Air's hands and he drops down.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Read on!!! 


	6. The Guys From Turkey

Where am I?  
  
What happened?  
  
That-  
  
Don't worry.....  
  
Air wakes up and finds that he is in a church.  
  
Girl: Hi, remember me?  
  
Air: Yeah! You're the one that didn't sell me crap!!!!!  
  
Girl: My name is AirHead. What's yours?  
  
Air: Air.  
  
Airhead: This church is in the center of the Sector 5 Crumbs. The roof fell on top of me. It gave me a scare, but it didn't kill me or the flowers.  
  
Air: How are there lights if we just destroyed power to 1/4 of the city and the skies are polluted?  
  
Airhead: Plot hole.  
  
Air: What are flowers doing in a polluted city like this?  
  
Airhead: The land is fertile; it's the only place here in Mildew that flowers can grow.  
  
Suddenly, weird music plays and the camera shows the door to the church. Some fat guys enter.  
  
Guy1: At last, we found her!  
  
Guy2: There is no escape Airhead!  
  
Guy3: Rambo lets go.  
  
Air and Airhead run out the back door  
  
Guy1 (Rambo): Let's go after them, DON'T STEP ON THE FLOWERS!!  
  
Rambo walks onto the flowers and dances on them, then punches them, then eats them.  
  
Guy2: Umm, Rambo, you just did.  
  
Rambo: Don't question me! I'm going to dance no matter what!!! Or I ain't the leader of the Guys From Turkey!!!  
  
He runs off into the backroom. Everyone just stares, confused.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* REVIEW! Reveiws make the world go round! I now accept anonymous reviews! 


	7. Guns, Mr T, and other crap

In the Back:  
  
Air and AirHead Run up a series of stairs and finally get near the roof when they hear gunfire.  
  
Gunfire: I'm gonna shoot ya'!  
  
AirHead: Please be my bodyguard!  
  
Air: You want me to protect a girl who I just met AND refused to give me crap AND is gonna Die halfway through the game?!?!?!?!  
  
AirHead: Yes.  
  
Air: NO WAY!!!  
  
Air pushes AirHead off and onto a, umm. It's a. Uhh. Yeah. She slides down and lands in front of Rambo, Crude, and one other guy.  
  
Rambo: Hey, It's the girl! Get her!  
  
Meanwhile, Air is on the rafters by a few kegs of beer.  
  
Air: Should I push the barrel? Yes!  
  
Air pushes the barrel/keg off. It rolls down the pillar shaped like the, Umm. The thing that. Uhh. Yeah. It rolls around, then lands on AirHead.  
  
AirHead: What are you doing?!  
  
Rambo: She's Hot when she's angry!  
  
Battle start: [Enemies: Random 'Guy from Turkey' x1]  
  
Random 'Guy from Turkey' (GFT) attacks with a machine gun. It only does ten damage points even though AirHead isn't wearing any armor.  
  
AirHead: Now my Limit Break is up! Whirling Breeze!  
  
AirHead recovers the ten Health points back.  
  
Both: That was Stupid.  
  
AirHead just whacks him a bunch with her five-foot-long staff that fits in her pocket somehow [NOT A SEXUAL REFERENCE].  
  
Battle End! Winner: AirHead!  
  
AirHead: I know!  
  
Sorry.  
  
Airhead runs up the stairs while suspenseful music plays. At the top.  
  
AirHead: Let's go!!  
  
Air: Let's go!!  
  
Airhead: Don't repeat me.  
  
Air: Don't repeat me.  
  
AirHead: Onceaponatimetherewasadumbguywholivedinmildewwhowaskilled.  
  
Air: I don't know WHAT you said.  
  
Airhead: Let's keep it like that.  
  
They run off through the hole in the roof onto some houses.  
  
Old dude: Hey, Foo! I pity the Foo who walks on the roof o' Mr. T!  
  
Air: Dude, you need help.  
  
They continue to run across the roofs, soon they finally jump off.  
  
AirHead: Why didn't we do that earlier?  
  
Air: Who knows?!!?!?  
  
They decide to go into a house for some reason.  
  
Air: Let's go into that house for some reason.  
  
AirHead: Ok.  
  
They run in. Inside.  
  
The Lady: Umm. Why are you in my house?  
  
Air: Hey, 'The Lady', we're your future heroes! We have the right to bust in your house and take what we want while you keep writing a book or something and aren't surprised that guys just busted in.  
  
The Lady: Well, you aren't my heroes yet so. GET OUT!!!  
  
Air: [this sentence was deleted because you're all sick of the Acronym joke]  
  
The Lady: No.  
  
They go up to a bookcase and steal a cookbook.  
  
The Lady: Why did you steal that?  
  
AirHead: You're an NPC; you don't matter to the plot.  
  
The Lady: THE MAIN BAD GUY IS AN NPC!!!  
  
Air disappears and becomes PornoRoth.  
  
Air/PornoRoth: Not with a Gameshark.  
  
The Lady: Go away.  
  
PornoRoth switches back to Air.  
  
Air: How rude! 


	8. Plot Holes!

They run out of the house.  
  
Airhead: This way!  
  
Air and Airhead run a ways and they get to a mansion.  
  
AirHead: Welcome to my house.  
  
Air: I thought you said that the church was the only place flowers can grow, how is there a garden by your house?  
  
AirHead: I took them here in little bags.  
  
Air: Shut up. Why is this so pretty; what happened to the polluted sky? And where'd that waterfall/river come from? No other water is seen anywhere in this city.  
  
AirHead: Well.  
  
Air: And how do you afford the taxes on this place? I mean, you're a flower girl who sells stuff for 1 krill each! Are you saving up to buy someone a gift? And if so, you could make a much better profit, you have the only flowers in Mildew!!!  
  
AirHead: I hate you.  
  
AirHead tosses a brick at Air  
  
Air: And when did you get a brick making spell??!! 


	9. Mrs Strutzermeyer: Not a cop

They go into the house.  
  
AirHead: MOM, I'm HOME!  
  
Airhead's Mom: *has a heart attack*  
  
Air: Very smart, very, very smart. You killed your own mom.  
  
AirHead: She's not my mo- *Slapped by DSR*  
  
Air: This is revenge for not giving me crap!  
  
Air goes to the phone and calls someone.  
  
Air (On phone): Hello, I'm here to make a citizen's arrest.  
  
Voice (on other line): Hello, this is Mrs. Strutzermeyer.  
  
Air: Are you on the police force?  
  
Strutzermeyer: I can't hear you. Let me tune my Hearing Aid. Come to think of it, I don't know if you are there, or if the phone rang. Hmm.  
  
Air Hangs up and tries again  
  
Air: Is this the police force?  
  
Voice on other line: Hello, this is Tony, Owner of Tony's pizzeria.  
  
Air: Do you know the-  
  
Tony: -the topping with the least fat. Yeah, we get that a lot.  
  
Air: No, what's the number for the Mildew police force??!!  
  
Tony: Yeah, the topping with the least fat is-  
  
Air hangs up.  
  
Air: I'll get it this time. Hello, police?  
  
Voice: Hello, this is Mrs. Strutzermeyer, How can I help your life suck?  
  
Air: I HATE YOU STRUTZERMEYER!!!  
  
AirHead: Does that stand for Iguanas hate apples, teeth, echidnas, you or-  
  
Air: Hey, you're stealing my line!  
  
Air calls again.  
  
Voice: Hello, You have reached-  
  
Air: The Mildew police force??!!  
  
Voice: No, this is Mr. Strutzermeyer. Would-  
  
Air: DAMN YOU STRUTZERMEYERS!!!!!  
  
Air slams the phone down on Airhead's mom.  
  
AirHead: You're gonna pay for that.  
  
Mom: Please kill me. 


	10. Randumb battles

Air: This time, I'm gonna get it.  
  
He picks up what remains of the phone and tries again.  
  
Air: Hello.  
  
Voice: Hello, you've reached the Mildew police force, this is Mr. Strutzermeyer.  
  
Air: I would like to make a citizen's arrest. AirHead killed her Mom.  
  
Mom: I'm not dead.  
  
Air: AirHead Fatally wounded her mom.  
  
Mom: I'm getting better.  
  
Air: AirHead scared her mom.  
  
Mom: Actually, I was pretending, just for a laugh.  
  
Air: Air killed AirHead's mom and blamed AirHead.  
  
Mom: AirHead, go upstairs please.  
  
AirHead does  
  
Mom: Die Air!  
  
Battle start: enemies dumb mom (x1))  
  
Mom: Die! KAMAKAZETHINGEE!!!  
  
Air steps one centimeter to the left. It misses.  
  
Mom: Well, I'm pooped. Let's get some ice cream.  
  
Air: The Battle ain't over. Magic spell: Thunder  
  
Thunder is heard.  
  
Mom: Well.  
  
Air: D'oh! Magic: Bol-  
  
Mom: It's my move. Magic: Death and crap!  
  
Air dies.  
  
Mom: Mr. Strutzermeyer, I'd like to make an arrest. Oh, you hung up.  
  
AirHead comes down  
  
AirHead: You killed Air!  
  
Mom: So?  
  
AirHead: Item: Angel Spit.  
  
AirHead pulls a little angel out of her pocket which spits on Air.  
  
Air: I'm Up!!!  
  
Mom: Go to bed you guys.  
  
Air: It's 1:30 Pm!  
  
Mom: You're smart, so you can stay up half an hour later. AirHead, BED!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Beautiful Echidna's Dress?  
  
Mom: Get some rest.  
  
Air: Do you know where Tiara's Sitcom Rip-off is? I want to go there in the middle of the night to ditch AirHead.  
  
Mom: Sector 7 is past sector 6. Rest up.  
  
Air: I knew that. 7 is past 6; not really rocket science.  
  
Mom: Sector 7 is past sector 6. Rest up.  
  
Air: What??!!  
  
Mom: Sector 7 is past sector 6. Rest up.  
  
Air Damn, the old "Person says the same thing over and over" RPG rule.  
  
Air goes upstairs.  
  
???: Man... I haven't slept in-  
  
Air: Shut up.  
  
???: Now I punish you with a flashback!  
  
Air: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Flashback:  
  
Air is on a bed by his mom  
  
Mom: Do you have a girlfriend?  
  
Air: Shouldn't you know that? You ARE my mom, you're supposed to know everything about my personal life.  
  
Mom: You should get a girlfriend.  
  
Air: How 'bout no.  
  
Mom: A strong girlfriend.  
  
Air: No Thanks.  
  
Mom: A girlfriend that will look out for you.  
  
Air: Are you listening to me??!!  
  
Mom: A girlfriend who can stop me from saying 'girlfriend' every sentence.  
  
Air: Mom, No.  
  
Mom: You should get a girlfriend.  
  
End flashback  
  
Air wakes up and decides to ditch AirHead and go to the bar. He leaves the room, but steps on a floorboard.  
  
AirHead: Air, what are you doing?  
  
Air: Umm... Looking for dirty magazines. Your mom seems weird enough to have some.  
  
AirHead: Yeah, they're by the fridge.  
  
Air: Sweet!  
  
Two hours of searching everywhere for nonexistent magazines later...  
  
Air: Ok. I'm just gonna' go.  
  
Air leaves the house and goes through a ton of shrapnel and sees AirHead guarding a tunnel.  
  
Air: AirHead??!!  
  
AirHead: Hello.  
  
Air: But, how??!!  
  
AirHead: Let's just go.  
  
They go a ways then find A RANDOM BATTLE!!!  
  
Battle start: (enemies: Randumb battle x1)  
  
Randumb battle: I am the random battle that interrupts the game and has a corny name.  
  
Air: A corny name  
  
Randumb battle: A corny name  
  
Air & Randumb battle: The corniest from here to the next fanfic!  
  
All three: The next fanfiiiiiccccc!  
  
Air: Ok. Even I thought that was dumb.  
  
Randumb battle: What am I?  
  
Air: A random battle.  
  
Randumb battle: What enemy?  
  
Air: I'd like to use my "phone a friend".  
  
Randumb battle: Here's a phone.  
  
Air calls AirHead, even though she's right next to him.  
  
Air: What's the answer?  
  
AirHead: Z  
  
Air: There is no Z!  
  
AirHead: E,  
  
Air: There is no E!  
  
AirHead: Well, what are the choices?  
  
Air: You should know! I mean come on-  
  
[Scene Deleated] [Spell checker fired]  
  
Air: Wow, I didn't know you could strangle someone through a phone line.  
  
Randumb battle: I'll just tell you. I'm a-  
  
Air: Audience?  
  
Randumb battle: I'm a Heck Apartment.  
  
AirHead: A WHAT??!!  
  
Heck Apartment: A house that self-destructs.  
  
Air: Quick! Let's hide in that Apartment!  
  
They run inside the enemy  
  
Air: What are these??!!  
  
He points to boxes in the apartment labeled "Chocob-Os", "Materi-Os", "Mildew-Os", "Pornoroth-Os" and "enough with the Os-Os"  
  
AirHead: Merchandise. In this case, cereal. They're all the same, but with different pictures.  
  
Air: Oh.  
  
AirHead: Let's go.  
  
They leave the apartment and run off, hearing a loud "BAOOOM!" behind them. 


	11. The K Market

They walk a ways and get to a playground.  
  
AirHead: Let's rest a bit.  
  
They lay down on a slide.  
  
CLUUUCCCCCCK!!!  
  
Air: What was that??!!  
  
AirHead: Look.  
  
Air turns and sees Tiara in a cart being pulled by a Charcoal-bowl (not a real one, a chocobo with one of my weirdo names).  
  
Air: I've gotta' rescue her. But not now, I'll just lay here a bit.  
  
A few minutes later...  
  
Air: Lets go!  
  
They run a ways and get to a huge run-down "city"  
  
AirHead: This place is scary. Where are we anyway?  
  
Air: This is the K-Market. It's where horny perverts come to hang out.  
  
AirHead: Let's go find Tiara!  
  
Air: She's probably at the Honey Tree Inn.  
  
AirHead: That sounds like something out of Winne the Pooh.  
  
Air: This is already the most cliche'd game in existance; it doesn't hurt to steal something else.  
  
They run to the Honey Tree Inn  
  
AirHead: This is not an Inn.  
  
Air: Shut up. (To owner) You know a girl named Tiara?  
  
Owner: She went to Long MoldyFolk's Manor.  
  
AirHead: That's the dumbest name in existance.  
  
Owner: SHUT UP!  
  
Air: Does that- *is strangled by AirHead*  
  
They go up to the mansion  
  
Guard: Hey, You got a nice little sweetheart to add to Long's collection.  
  
AirHead: We want to see Tiara.  
  
Guard: You can go in, but you won't see her for long. Long chooses one girl a day. The winner has fun in bed with him. The losers are fed to his pet.  
  
AirHead: Uhh.  
  
They go in  
  
Guard: HOLD IT! You can't go in man. Long ain't in to yaoi.  
  
Air: I wasn't going to-  
  
Guard: Go Away  
  
Air: Start using periods.  
  
Guard: *Pushes Air out of the way.*  
  
AirHead comes out  
  
AirHead: Hold on. I got a cute friend I wanna' bring.  
  
She goes over to Air  
  
AirHead: Air, I've got an idea. We dress you up as a girl.  
  
Air: WHAT??!! EVEN FOR ME, THAT'S INSULTING! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU WANT ME TO GIVE UP MY DIGNITY LIKE THAT??!! I'LL, I'LL, I'LL, do it, I'm bored.  
  
AirHead: Good. Let's go to the dress shop.  
  
They do  
  
Air: I'd like a dress.  
  
Lady: I Don't work here.  
  
Air: Manager, give me a dress.  
  
Manager: I would, but my dad designs the dresses. And he's spent every night drinking at the tavern.  
  
Air: I would too if MY son owned a dress shop. Why don't you get him.  
  
Manager: I have to make sure nobody steals anything.  
  
AirHead: Nobody would want to steal anything here. Trust Me.  
  
Air: So, We're off on a sidequest to find your dad even though we could easily bust in and take Tiara by force.  
  
Manager: Pretty much.  
  
Air: Damn it! 


	12. The horrors of Compory

Three hours of looking for that old man who makes dresses later...  
  
Air: I'm tired; let's eat!  
  
AirHead: Ok.  
  
They go into a crowded restaurant  
  
Air: Man, this is a crowded restaurant...  
  
I just said that  
  
Air: Sorry.  
  
They go to the owner who happens to be a robot  
  
Robot 1: Welcome to 'Compory'! The first robot operated diner!  
  
Another robot walks by  
  
Robot 2: {Battery: low}  
  
Robot 2 blows up  
  
Robot 1: So, what do you want?  
  
They look at the menu. It only contains three choices. 1: Chicken, 2: Salad, 3: Chicken and salad  
  
Air: Chicken & salad please.  
  
Another robot walks by and into the flames left by Robot 2. It blows up.  
  
Air: Let's go.  
  
AirHead: Yeah.  
  
They're about to leave the bar when...  
  
Robot 4: Stop!  
  
Robot A:  
  
Air: You mean Robot 1.  
  
Shut up  
  
Robot 1: Don't let them escape!  
  
Metal barriers close off every door, window, and air duct.  
  
Robots: DIE!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Die Idiot Elf??!!  
  
Robots: No! Now to annihilate you!  
  
The robots start tossing AOL free-trial membership disks at him  
  
Air: NOOOOOOOOooooo!  
  
Air and AirHead start dodging AOL discs in slow-mo like in 'the Matrix'  
  
Robots: You will try AOL  
  
Air: Neeevvvveeeerrrr...  
  
One of the disks makes a crack in the wall.  
  
Air: We're free!  
  
They jump through the crack into safety. Outside...  
  
Man: I'm a person!  
  
Kids: We're children! We're Children!  
  
Woman: I'm Bob!  
  
AirHead: I think it was safer in 'Compory'.  
  
Air: You have an AOL disk stuck in your hair.  
  
AirHead: AAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!  
  
They run into a random building to confiscate it. Inside...  
  
Manager: What can I do you for?  
  
Air: WHAT??!!  
  
Manager: Does that stand for Whales Have Angry Teenagers?  
  
Air: My brother.  
  
AirHead: Sorry to interrupt but, THERES AN AOL DISK IN MY HAIR!!  
  
Manager: I must destroy! *takes a flamethrower to Airhead's Hair*  
  
Air: Thank you.  
  
Manager: Here, take this for no reason *hand's Air some deodorant*  
  
AirHead: Are we having fun yet? 


	13. The 13th Chapter

They go off  
  
AirHead: We really need to get me a wig.  
  
They go into a wig shop  
  
Air: D'oh! This is the tavern.  
  
AirHead: How insightful, 'Homer'.  
  
They go to this guy outside a bathroom  
  
Guy: *doing the potty dance* I need to go. But I can't go home or to another store.  
  
They go to the bathroom door  
  
Air: MAN! It STINKS in there! *opens door and gives lady deodorant* Here.  
  
Lady: How dare you insult me like this??!!  
  
Lady throws a bottle of perfume at Air's forehead. It breaks and Air starts smelling like honey.  
  
Lady: Oh wait, that was honey...  
  
AirHead: Let's go before sober people see me bald.  
  
Air: You know Maasai consider baldness a sign of beauty.  
  
AirHead: Hmmm... You're right. I shouldn't be uptight because... WERE NOT MAASAI!!!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Wedding Errors Really Envoke Norwegion Orangatons To Meet Angry Anteaters Saying 'Angry Ion'  
  
AirHead: Nothing I say is going to be an acronym for the rest of the game; GOT IT??!!  
  
Air: The rest? That means that some of your earlier all-caps sentences were acronyms. I was right!  
  
AirHead: No you wer'n't.  
  
Air goes over to a man  
  
Air: Can you help me convinse AirHead that I'm right?  
  
Man: I only make dresses for people.  
  
Air: Can you make one for me?  
  
Man: Sure. Go to the dress shop. I'll make one here instantly and without any material and then ship it there without any delay!  
  
Air: Now that's service!  
  
AirHead: Where can we get wigs?  
  
There's a gym around here. The owner, Tiny Cousin's sister twice revoved, is into cross-dressing. You'll get one there.  
  
Air: Ok.  
  
Will Air rescue Tiara?  
Will I stop making stupid name parodies?  
Will AirHead find a wig?  
Will Man be able to do what he said?  
Will I ever shut up?  
And why am I asking you dolts all this?  
  
Stay tuned next time.  
Same Final Idiotsy Story  
Same Final Idiotsy URL 


	14. A Final Idiotsy Christmas

A final Idiotsy Christmas! Is brought to you by.  
  
Woody Aliens!!!! Coming sometime to a theater not near you!!!!!!!!  
  
*This is not part of the Final Idiotsy story*  
  
The super dudes + AirHead are lounging around Tiara's Sitcom Rip-off  
  
Air: You know, it's Christmas.  
  
Tiara: You're right. We should do a secret Santa thing.  
  
Tarot: Yeah. Let's write our name on paper slips and draw them and whoever we draw we have to bye gifts for.  
  
They do that.  
  
AirHead: Let's pick.  
  
They pick, and the pairing is the following:  
  
Air buys something for Tarot  
  
Tarot buys something for Big  
  
Big " " for jenny  
  
Jenny " " for Air  
  
AirHead " " for AirHead  
  
Tiara fell asleep  
  
Guys: Let's shop!!  
  
They all run off. A little LATER...  
  
Air: Does that stand for Little Ants Take Early Relaxations?  
  
DSR: Damn Caps Lock.  
  
A bit later in the bar...  
  
Air: Tarot, this is for you.  
  
Air hands Tarot a gift  
  
Tarot: Oh boy!  
  
Tarot opens it to find an inflatable doll.  
  
Tarot: WHAT THE CRAP??!!  
  
Air: You're welcome.  
  
Tarot: I have a girlfriend, Tiara. Why would I need this. Ahh whatever, I'll get used to it.  
  
He inflates it, draws Air's face over the original one, and starts making out with it like crazy.  
  
Air: Uhh, Tarot...  
  
Tarot pops it and throws it out the window  
  
Tarot: you didn't see anything.  
  
Air: Yes.  
  
Tarot: Here Big.  
  
Big opens his gift  
  
Big: Fwoggy!  
  
Tarot: Actually, that's Croaky McCroackCroak, he was 2 krill at the pet shop since he's dead.  
  
Big: Fwoggy!  
  
Tiara: That's the lamp.  
  
Big: Oh... Fwoggy!  
  
AirHead: That's a can.  
  
Big: Oh... Fwoggy!  
  
Tarot: That's Croaky McCroackCroak.  
  
Big: Oh... Fwoggy!  
  
The team gives up.  
  
Big: Oh, Jenny, Hewe.  
  
Big hands Jenny the lamp he thought was Froggy  
  
Jenny: COOL! A lamp!  
  
Air: Does that *is slapped, pulverized, beaten, and stomped on by Tiara*  
  
Tarot: Hey! THAT'S MY LAMP!!!  
  
Air: Does *Tiara does all of the above things again*  
  
Air: Ow...  
  
Airhead: AirHead, I've got a gift for you!  
  
AirHead pulls 5 krill out of her wallet, gives it to herself, and puts it in her wallet. Then she slaps herself  
  
AirHead: CHEAPSKATE!!!  
  
Jenny: Air, here you go...  
  
Jenny hands him a book called "ACRONYMS! The guide to making good ones! (Does that stand for acronyms can really open nefarious yearly moth stomachs?)"  
  
Air: Yes!  
  
Tarot: Well, that was interesting... Jenny, GIVE ME BACK MY LAMP!!!!!  
  
Suddenly there is a huge rumble and PornoRoth walks in.  
  
All: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
PornoRoth: What? Don't I get a present? 


	15. The real 14th chapter

NOTE: I made that last chapter for no reason at all, period. It has nothing to do with the plot, takes place during no part of the "game", and is all- in-all a story in itself. Now back to the real story...  
  
AirHead and Air go to the gym  
  
Gym Teacher: You two squash, NOW!  
  
Air: WHAT??!!  
  
Gym Teacher: Start doing Squash, it's a made-up exercise.  
  
AirHead: It STINKS in here!  
  
Old Lady on a treadmill: Well guess WHAT Mr. Whippersnapper! You should be lucky to even have gyms! In my day, we didn't have gyms! We only had Auditoriums, Weight rooms, and Gyms! So watch youre mouth!  
  
Air: Umm...  
  
DSR: Arfter three chapters, I've deicded to hire a new spellchecker! Meet Mr. McMcMcerson of the Mcy land of Mc!  
  
Mr. McMcMcerson of the Mcy land of Mc: Hi everybody!  
  
DSR: Now back to the parody...  
  
Air: What's Squash?  
  
Gym Owner: It's an exercise. Sit and stand up. It's Eastastical! It's Fanteasy! It's from Dr. Seuss!  
  
Air: umm...  
  
Old lady from before: Well you should be lucky to have Squash! Back in my day, we didn't have Squash! We only had sit-ups, and push-ups, and chin- ups, and Squash! So watch your mouth!  
  
Air: Let's go.  
  
They run out and to the dress shop  
  
AirHead: Do you have the dress?  
  
Manager: Yes we do! *hands Air the dress*  
  
Air goes to the dressing room and comes out in a dress soon afterwards.  
  
AirHead: How did you put that on so fast? I have trouble putting those on!  
  
Air: Umm...  
  
AirHead: Really developing your vocabulary Mrs. Airess  
  
Air: Whatever! Let's just go!  
  
They go up to Long Moldy Folk's Mansion  
  
Guard: You look bizarre. You can't go in.  
  
Air whacks his board at the guards face knocking him unconscious.  
  
AirHead: Why didn't we do that sooner?  
  
Air and AirHead go in and wait in a "waiting room" They find Tiara there.  
  
Tiara: Hey guys.  
  
Air: TIARA!!!!!  
  
AirHead: Hi Tiara. I'm AirHead.  
  
???: AirHead? That's a funny name for a whippersnapper!  
  
Air: Oh god...  
  
Lady: That's right! I'm the lady from the gym.  
  
Tiara: She's one of the contestants. *shudder*  
  
Lady: Ha! Back in my day, we didn't have shutters-  
  
Air: DIE LADY!  
  
Air knocks her out and takes her wig.  
  
AirHead: Give me that wig!  
  
Tiara: Here, I got it from a randumb battle with a flying fish. I don't know why it had this though... *Gives Airhead a wig.*  
  
Man: Hurry up. Long wants to see you all... MwaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!  
  
Air: You know, we can hear you.  
  
Man: Shut up! MwaHaHaHa... 


	16. Singing and dancing

Air, Tiara and AirHead follow the man to Long's room...  
  
Long: Which one, which one? You, in the gray wig that smells of Honey, you're my date.  
  
Air: WHAT??!!  
  
Long: Guards, you can take the others, be alone for 20 minutes, and feed them to my pet later.  
  
Guards that appeared from nowhere: Thank you sir!  
  
The guards carry AirHead & Tiara away  
  
Long: Come here you...  
  
Air: But, umm... AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Long: We're gonna' have some fun...  
  
Air struggles, but is carried into the room by Long. In the room...  
  
Long: Look at the view, you can see all of the K-market, you can even hear the kids at the school nearby...  
  
The camera switches to a classroom in which the teacher is showing the kids 3 melons.  
  
Teacher: Uno Melon, dos melon, tres melon! Now you know how to count to three in Spanish.  
  
Kids: YAY!!!  
  
Teacher: If you have any feelings of excitement, swallow them now. I know that you'll forget this in 5 minutes so... Let's just play Twister!  
  
Kids: Double YAY!!!!  
  
Teacher: Shut up.  
  
Back in Long's room...  
  
Long: So, without further ado. let's do it!  
  
Air: Never...  
  
15 minutes later...  
  
Air is underneath Long who is about to take off Air's pants  
  
Air: STOP!  
  
Air rolls off the bed  
  
Air: That was easy... Look Long, you're a sicko, so I must announce... I'm a man!  
  
Long: Let's do it anyway.  
  
Air: No way!  
  
Long: well, you tricked me, if you have any feelings of excitement, please swallow them now because I know you won't remember this 5 minutes from now so-  
  
Air: Does everyone here talk like that?  
  
Long: Yeah.  
  
Long opens up a window and you hear the following...  
  
Kid: May I borrow a buck?  
  
Mom: Sure.  
  
Kid: YAY!!!  
  
Mom: If you have any feelings of excitement, please swallow them now, as I know that you'll forget about this next time you want money so... Here's your own Credit card.  
  
Back to Long's room...  
  
Long: Well, we have 15 minutes so... Let's play Monopoly!  
  
Air: Ok.  
  
5 minutes later...  
  
Tiara and AirHead bust in  
  
Tiara: Air, we're here to save you!  
  
Air: I'm in the middle of a game.  
  
AirHead: Well, umm... we're here to save you from this cheater. How can he roll a 63 on two dice?  
  
Air: You're right!  
  
Tiara: It's wrong to cheat! So you should let us go!  
  
Long: I'm evil, why do I need to listen to you?  
  
Tiara: We'll explain it... in song!  
  
Music starts playing and Air, AirHead, and Tiara start dancing and singing to the tune of Good Charlotte's "Girls and Boys"...  
  
AirHead: Just cause you got, some money,  
  
Tiara: Don't mean that you're funny,  
  
Air: And not much to do with,  
  
AirHead: Most of the plot but,  
  
Tiara: you still should not cheat  
  
Air: In monopoly,  
  
All: Cause you still can't be evil.  
  
Tiara: We still have an  
  
Air: Antagonist you see,  
  
AirHead: And it would take up to much disk space if you...  
  
All: Keep making' tough foes, cheating at games,  
  
Air: Keep lying,  
  
Tiara: And we will,  
  
Air: Make pain,  
  
All: You're only,  
  
AirHead: Thing  
  
Air: You'll get what you want if,  
  
Tiara: You keep your hands clean  
  
All: And of course, pay us just a little fee,  
  
Tiara: Keeping secrets sure ain't free.  
  
All: Nobody likes you stupid Moldy Folk.  
  
Long: That's it shut up, I've heard enough of this.  
  
Air: And if you don't shut up,  
  
Tiara: We will double your pay,  
  
AirHead: That you have to pay  
  
All: To get free of this hellhole.  
  
Tiara: We don't like you,  
  
AirHead: You damn Long Moldy Folk  
  
[Guitar Solo]  
  
Air: Girls just like you cause they don't have a say,  
  
Tiara: Their parents make decisions for them anyway,  
  
Air: And these Girls are forced,  
  
AirHead: To say they're in love,  
  
All: You just ARE'NT some angel,  
  
Tiara: That comes from the heavens...  
  
Air: Cause no one likes you  
  
All: Except for your money-  
  
Long: STOP!!!!!!!  
  
The music stops.  
  
Long: Why do President Spitwad, His son, and PornoRoth get the attention??!! I want to be the main villain!!!!!  
  
He pulls a trap door. Air, AirHead, and Tiara start hovering above the hole.  
  
Long: WHAT??!!  
  
He gets some scissors and cuts the wires hanging Air, AirHead, and Tiara in the air. They fall...  
  
All: AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! 


	17. One ring to rule the mall

They wake up to find that they're in a sewer.  
  
Air: Eww...  
  
AirHead: Where are we?  
  
Umm, if you paid attention to the first sentence...  
  
AirHead: Shut up.  
  
Suddenly, they hear something...  
  
???: ROAR!!!!  
  
Air & AirHead: AHH!!!!!!!  
  
Tiara: Wait, he SAID roar, he didn't roar...  
  
???: Umm...  
  
??? Comes out of the shadows and it's revealed that ??? Is some cards and a couple of dice.  
  
? (Different voice): HA! Ha! Ha!  
  
Tiara: Long Moldy Folk!  
  
Long: Right. I'm not down there, I'm watching you from my room. You shall be fed to my pet! Meet... Craps!  
  
AirHead: WHAT??!!  
  
Long: Craps. You know, like the dice game...  
  
Air: What?  
  
Long: ...In Vegas.........  
  
Tiara: I'm not following.  
  
Long: Oh whatever! Craps, Kill Them!!!  
  
Battle start: enemies: Craps(x1)  
  
Craps throws some cards at Air.  
  
Air: OW! PAPER CUT!!!  
  
Craps does the same to AirHead and Tiara.  
  
AirHead and Tiara: OW! PAPER CUT!!!  
  
Tiara: Now my limit Break is up! Go-  
  
You have to roll correctly on the slots to use Tiara's limit break  
  
Tiara: Whatever.  
  
She spins.  
  
Tiara: Hit,  
  
The next one spins  
  
Tiara: Hit!  
  
The last one spins.  
  
Tiara: Lemon...  
  
Tiara gets mad and kicks the slot machine into Craps' face  
  
Craps: OW!  
  
Air: My limit break is up also! COWARDLYER!!  
  
Air starts whacking Craps like mad.  
  
Battle end: Winner: the Super Dudes  
  
Long: What??!! Oh well, Craps, morph into your 2nd form!  
  
Craps morphs into a house of Cards.  
  
Long: Meet... Collapse!  
  
Air: Oh please.  
  
Air touches Collapse and he, well, collapses.  
  
Long: Well, meet... umm... Lemme think... Oh...  
  
Air: Give it up.  
  
Long: Well, you'll never stop my plan to destroy sector 7 so that I can kill the Super Dudes!  
  
AirHead: WHAT??!!  
  
They run off and get to a chest.  
  
Air: Cool, a ring.  
  
Air takes the ring from the chest.  
  
Tiara: Wow!  
  
It was forged at Mt. Doom, One ring to rule the mall...  
  
AirHead: Don't you mean, one ring to rule them all?  
  
Tiara: No, it's one ring to rule the mall.  
  
The girl is right...  
  
Air: Which one?  
  
It IS one ring to rule the mall.  
  
AirHead: Do they even have malls in middle Earth?  
  
Do you know nothing?  
  
AirHead: Was that rhetorical?  
  
One ring to rule the mall...  
  
Air: Can we just stop the LOTR jokes?  
  
NEVER! FOOLISH MORTAL...  
  
Air: Does that stand for Nice Elves Vigorously Enjoy Red Food or Orange Light in Stupid Hellish Man-eating Orangutan Reed to Allow Life?  
  
That made less sense One ring to rule the mall...  
  
AirHead: So you admit that that made no sense.  
  
Umm...  
  
They continue on and end up somewhere else.  
  
Tiara: Wow. How did you come to that conclusion?  
  
Shut up... 


	18. The team goes to a cemetery and stuff

The team ends up in the Bus Cemetery  
  
Air: Hey, a payphone! We should call the other members and warn them about the impending doom.  
  
AirHead: Ok.  
  
Just then, the phone rings  
  
Air: I'll get it.  
  
Voice (over phone): I have Christina! Pay me 10 million dollars for her return.  
  
Air: Who??!!  
  
Voice: Isn't this the Freedom Force?  
  
Air: No, we're the Super Dudes.  
  
Voice: oh. *click*  
  
Air: She hung up.  
  
The phone rings again.  
  
Voice: Is this the Freedom Force?  
  
Air: No, we're the Super-  
  
*Click*  
  
The phone rings again.  
  
Voice: Is this the Freedom Force?  
  
Air: No, we're the-  
  
*Click*  
  
The phone rings again.  
  
Voice: Is this the Freedom Force?  
  
Air: No, we're-  
  
*Click*  
  
The phone rings again.  
  
Voice: Is this the Freedom Force?  
  
Air: No-  
  
*Click*  
  
The phone rings again.  
  
Voice: Is this the Freedom Force?  
  
Air: N-  
  
*Click*  
  
Air: Man, she's a jerk.  
  
Air uses call back  
  
Air: Listen Lady, I don't know-  
  
*Click*  
  
Tiara: Well, that's annoying.  
  
They continue on and see a bus  
  
Air: Hey, look at me *jumps into front of bus* I'm a driver!  
  
Air pushes the accelerator and, even though there are no keys, gas, or engine, it moves.  
  
Air: Cool.  
  
They jump on the bus (literally), and get off at near a train station.  
  
AirHead: I hear gunfire.  
  
Gunfire is heard.  
  
Tiara: Let's go check it out!  
  
They hurry to the Sector 7 Crumbs and see people fighting on the support beam  
  
Air: We got to save them! The Super Dudes I mean.  
  
The run up and soon see Big.  
  
Big: Help me...  
  
AirHead: Who's he?  
  
Tiara: Some cat.  
  
Big: Fwoggy?  
  
Tiara: No, this is AirHead.  
  
Big: Oh, Fwoggy!  
  
Tiara: That's sulfuric acid!  
  
Big: No, it's Fwoggy.  
  
Air: Let's reunite them.  
  
Air kicks Big off.  
  
Tarot: AirHead, Take Marlene somewhere safe.  
  
AirHead runs off to the hideout that she somehow knows how to get to.  
  
They go up a ways more and see Jenny.  
  
Jenny: Please kill me.  
  
Air: Ok!  
  
Air kicks Jenny off. Even farther up, they see Rambo and Tarot.  
  
Tarot: Rambo, you'll pay for this! 


	19. What would you do with an orangutan?

Final Idiotsy VII CH. 19  
  
Tarot: To repeat what I said a moment ago, Rambo, you'll pay for this!  
  
Rambo: I don't think so. The bomb is going to go off in  
  
Tarot: Shut up. *Aims tennis racket arm at Rambo*  
  
Rambo: I don't think you want to do that.  
  
Tarot: Why?  
  
Rambo: Crude has kidnapped the old fart (Ancient), when I give the signal, He'll shoot her. He's in that helicopter. *Points to helicopter*  
  
Air: How did you get a helicopter in here?  
  
Rambo: Shut up. I won't give the signal if you take this 100 krill I'm about to give you, and make it 1,000,000 krill by the end of the day.  
  
Tarot: This sounds an awful lot like that one Yu-Gi-Oh! Episode.  
  
Rambo: Shut up, you have 24 hours, starting...any minute now...come on... Now!  
  
They run out of the tower and to the K market.  
  
Tarot: Ok. Air, invest this money wisely. We're gonna get drunk at the tavern.  
  
They all (Except Air) go get drunk, after they get sober, and after 5 hours...  
  
Tarot: Ok, what did you buy?  
  
Air: I bought an Orangutan!  
  
Tarot: AN ORANGUTAN??!! AN ORANGUTAN WON'T DO US ANY GOOD!!! AN ORANGUTAN CAN'T MAKE ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN ONE DAY!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Apples Now Open Really Amazingly Not Greatly Ugly Trees At Niger And-  
  
Tarot: Air, you can make up stupid acronyms that I'd never say, or we think HOW an orangutan will make us a million krill.  
  
Air: I choose acronyms.  
  
Tiara: I have an idea. We train the monkey to act out scenes from 'The Murders of the Rue Moure.'  
  
Tarot: Two things, one, It's not a monkey, and two, WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO TRAIN IT!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Wildly Erotic Dumb Orangutans Need Two Hats And Very Exciting Animal Ninny Yugoslavs To Open The 'Red Ape Interest' Nuisance Inc. Trainers?  
  
Tarot: Ok. You're an idiot.  
  
Orangutan: Eee Ooo Ahh Eee Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Ooo Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Eee Ooo Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Ahh Ooo Eee Eee Ahh Ooo Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Ahh Ooo Ooo Ooo...  
  
Air: It's trying to say something. I think it means "Eee Ooo Ahh Eee Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Ooo Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Eee Ooo Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Ahh Ooo Eee Eee Ahh Ooo Ahh Eee Ooo Eee Ahh Ooo Ooo Ooo"  
  
Tarot: Shut up orangutan and Air.  
  
Air: I have another idea! We go around bragging about how we have the only Orangutan in the K market.  
  
Tiara: What would that accomplish exactly?  
  
Air: Ok, then we sell the monkey,  
  
Tarot: Orangutan.  
  
Air: Whatever. We sell the Orangutan to a resident to get back the money.  
  
Tarot: No one will want an orangutan!  
  
Air: But, they will want the bragging rights that come with having the only orangutan in the K Market.  
  
Tarot: Then why wouldn't they buy an orangutan and kill ours?  
  
Air: Ok, we lie and say it's a magic monkey,  
  
Tarot: Orangutan.  
  
Air: Whatever. And this Magic Orangutan has super, mystical, magical, oranutany powers of biblical proportions, that come to the owner of the monk-  
  
Tarot: ORANGUTAN!!!  
  
Air: Shut Up!!! And, because we're the reincarnation of Christ, we're selling it instead of using it's power for our own good.  
  
Tarot: Air?  
  
Air: Yes?  
  
Tarot: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for You Only Understand Really Easy And New Idiotic Deaths In Orangutan Trips?  
  
Tiara: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Tarot: Let's just watch Tv at the tavern.  
  
They go to the tavern. On the TV...  
  
Announcer: This summer...  
  
Not Fast! Not Furious!  
  
The screen shows two guys running at 2 MPH (For my English readers, 2.04653632793656543765473763471792474536743973243276 KPH) down a road.  
  
Announcer: Do you want action scenes to, have action in them? Feed your actors Speed Pills!  
  
Sexy Arab women: Won sllip deeps yub. Rebmun eht llac. Won sllip deeps yub. Rebmun eht llac. (If you've the Simpsons episode where Bart joins the 'Party Posse', you'll get that...)  
  
Announcer: To order Speed Pills call 1-900-666-SCAM, side effects include: Shrinkage of major sex organs, Shrinkage of non-sex organs, Strange craves for chocolate, slower reflexes, and loss of speed!  
  
Arab Women: Won Llac!!! 


	20. Tiz iz da worztdaye ov mi life

They go outside and into a store.  
  
Store owner: Buy something!  
  
Air: Why are so grumpy?  
  
Owner: Is me got no good grammar or is the Zigamorphically incorrectable monster that looks like a chicken liver that is reaking havoc on the New York City of Manhatten doing these bad stuffs to me? He make me lose nice job as camera man and I had to get new job as grammer teacher. Is that no bad or good? Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ! I lose job as grammer teacher after firsted day here. Tiz iz da worztdaye ov mi life I wizh I wash ded! Also, I am Russian and let me tell you being Russian is the best thing that can happen to you in your life.But I am still upset because my secratryofdefense is mad at my 'No policies!' Policie. I am Mad cow 52 and remember, I'am not a MadCow. These bad things are happaneng to me and Tiz iz da worst daye ov mi life I wizh I wash ded! Crazycomradheyheyheyheytototototototototototototototototoototototototottotot otnbf! Iwaz forsed into da candy stoer business is me a cut-up yes! Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! I atleaste get to eat my treats but thenihavenoprofit and I'm crazy andalsoi'mannoyed! YOU TALK TOO MUCH!!!  
  
The owner drinks a few drops of whiskey and passes out.  
  
Air: Well, now that that drunk owner is dead, let's steal some candy!  
  
They all (including the orangutan) start eating everything in the candy store. Pretty soon, after the orangutan has eaten 28 pounds of sweets and then some...  
  
Orangutan(While Running around the room wildly): Ohmygodiamhyperthesugaristakingovermybodyidonotcontrolmyselfidonotcontrolthe wildeffectsofthesugarthesugariscontrolingmeitsmakingmedostoopidthingsandohye ahwhereismybuttercupandshoutstupidphrasesandmaniamgoingcrazyidontgethyperimn othyperneedmoresugarcauseidontgethyperandiamgoingcrazybutineedmore*faints*  
  
Tarot: Air, are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
  
10 minutes later  
  
Air is dressed in a top hat by a sign that says...  
  
Sign: See the talking orangutan! Only 1,000,000 krill!  
  
Tarot: Umm, Air....  
  
Air this way, only one person has to be interested.  
  
Tarot: You're an idiot.  
  
10 more minutes later  
  
Sign: See the talking orangutan! Only 1,000 krill!  
  
Air: I'll go spread the word!  
  
Air goes to a random house and rings the doorbell.  
  
Woman: Hello.  
  
Air: I have a talking orangutan! Cool, huh.  
  
Woman: Me too! Rupert!  
  
An orangutan (Rupert) comes down the stairs  
  
Rupert: Hello, what's your name?  
  
Air: *Slams Door*  
  
Air: Ok, maybe some people don't know her. *Rings other doorbell at other random house.  
  
Man: Hello.  
  
Air: We have a talking orangutan! Cool, Huh!  
  
Man: Me too! Rompert!  
  
An orangutan (Rompert) comes down the stairs  
  
Rompert: Hello, what's your name?  
  
Air: *Slams door*  
  
Air: Ok, one more house.  
  
He rings the doorbell on another random house, unfortunately, it turns out to be...  
  
Robot: Welcome to Compory, the first Robot operated diner.  
  
Air: AHH!!!  
  
Robot: It's him again! The one who refused to try AOL or eat here!!  
  
The doors, windows, and skylights close and are sealed by metal barriers.  
  
Robot 1: Now for our revenge!  
  
17 different robots start firing from different angles, there's no where he can run.  
  
Air: Ha! You forgot about my awesome Matrix-rip-off skills!  
  
He jumps up in the air, the AOL disks all hit each other and explode!  
  
Air: Oh Yeah!  
  
Air runs along the wall and jumps off to kick a robot's head. Amazingly, none of the guests notice what's going on.  
  
Robot 3: You'll pay for tha- {Battery: Low} *Blows up*  
  
Air: How does running out of battery power make you guys self destruct?  
  
Robot 7: He's questioning our operating! (to Air) Now you will die even more!  
  
A Robot fires an AOL disk  
  
Air: Oh, really...  
  
Air grabs the disk and shots it back at the robot. The robot explodes.  
  
Air: Anyone else?  
  
Even more robots rush in, they all tackle him, forming a big pile of robots.  
  
Air: mpphphhmphmphmhmhhp  
  
Robot: What?  
  
Air: Mpphphhmphmphmhmhhp!!!  
  
Air jumps up, and the robots are thrown against the walls while Air stands in the middle.  
  
Larry Wachowski: Hey, DSR.  
  
Andy Wachowski: You have no right using this. It's copyright infragment.  
  
DSR: Bring it on.  
  
Battle start: (enemies: Wachowski brothers x1) Party: DSR x1  
  
DSR: Fire 124  
  
A flaming spiral of doom sweeps them both of they're feet, and when they land they both disintegrate.  
  
Battle end: winner: DSR  
  
DSR: Copyright expired.  
  
Back to the real story...  
  
Air is winning and keeps fighting off wave after wave of robots.  
  
Robots: We can't win like this!  
  
They all fuse together to become............................... A giant Robot!!!  
  
Giant Robot: Now to destroy you!  
  
A white round thing hits it on the back, knocking it's battery out.  
  
Giant Robot: {Battery: No} *Blows up*  
  
Air: What was that?  
  
Air picks it up and takes it outside where he finds Tiara.  
  
Tiara: Good thing I stole that form AirHead.  
  
Air: Tiara! Thank You! What was that?  
  
Tiara: AirHead said it was her mothers, it's called the 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' material.  
  
DSR: I can't think of a good name for a materia, so I'm just keeping it the same.  
  
Air: The 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia?  
  
Tiara: Yep, the 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia.  
  
Air: Is it just me or is 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia a really stupid name?  
  
Tiara: It's not just you, 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is a stupid name.  
  
Air: Well now that we agree that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is a stupid name-  
  
Tiara: Is it just me, or is saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia a bunch of times a very cheesy way to boost the word count and make this story seem longer?  
  
DSR: It's just you. Saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia isn't cheesy.  
  
Tiara: I think saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia a lot is cheesy.  
  
Air: Let's ask Tarot if saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy.  
  
Tiara: Ok, Tarot, do you think saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off- white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off- white materia' materia many times is cheesy?  
  
Tarot: Yeah, saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is very cheesy.  
  
DSR: Ok, now I'm even sick of 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia.  
  
Tiara: Yeah, let's stop saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia.  
  
All: Ok.  
  
Air: Man, Tiz iz da Worztdaye ov mi life! 


	21. Can we just call it offwhite?

Air: Ok, now that we've agreed that 'Slightly off-white but not so off- white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off- white materia' materia is cheesy-  
  
DSR: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia isn't cheesy.  
  
Tiara: We agreed that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy.  
  
Tarot: Actually, only we said that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy, he just said that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia was annoying.  
  
DSR: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia isn't annoying!  
  
Tiara: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is very annoying.  
  
Air: You even said that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
DSR: I didn't say that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
Tarot, Yes, you did say that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
Tiara: Tarot is right, 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
DSR: What's annoying about 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia?  
  
Air: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying because we keep saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia.  
  
A little boy comes up  
  
Boy: What are you argueing about?  
  
Tiara: We think that saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying, but he *Points to DSR* doesn't think that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
Tarot: Do you think that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying?  
  
Boy: Yes, I think that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
DSR: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is not annoying!  
  
A woman comes up  
  
Woman: What are you argueing about?  
  
Air: I think that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
DSR: And I don't think 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
Tiara: Do you think 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying?  
  
Woman: Obviosly 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia isn't annoying because you keep saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia and you aren't annoyed at yourselfs for saying 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia.  
  
DSR: I told you 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia isn't annoying.  
  
Woman: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is a cheesy way to boost your word count however.  
  
DSR: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is not cheesy.  
  
Boy: Yes, 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy.  
  
DSR: I didn't ask you if 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy.  
  
Tiara: We have right to free speech, if he thinks 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying then he can say "'Slightly off- white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying"  
  
Boy: I was saying that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy, not that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying, even though 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying.  
  
Tarot: 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is both cheesy and annoying. Can we just agree on that?  
  
DSR: No, because I don't think 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is annoying or cheesy. And I control the story.  
  
Air: But 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy, and annoying.  
  
A Man walks up  
  
Man: What are you argueing about?  
  
Air: We're argueing over wether or not 'Slightly off-white but not so off- white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off- white materia' materia is cheesy or not.  
  
Man: I have one question.  
  
Tiara: Shoot.  
  
Man: Can't you just call it 'off-white materia'?  
  
DSR: NO! IT WOULD LOSE ITS HUMOR!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Nobody Owns Intresting Trees Where Only Ugly Lake Dreamers Lose Oranges; Salmon, Every Intresting Tree Stink. Home Underestimates Many Orangutan Realitys?  
  
DSR: Note to self: Make a freak accident happen to Air. 


	22. My name is Torbit

Air: Ok, so we agree that 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia is cheesy.  
  
Tiara: Yes!  
  
Tarot: Yes!  
  
DSR: No! 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia' materia isn't cheesy! But seeing as we need to get somewhere in this story, we'll stop saying so much. Ok?  
  
Air: Sure, whatever...  
  
Oh, hello. I would like to apologize to all Final Idiotsy readers, I'm  
sorry about chapter 21. 'Slightly off-white but not so off-white that anyone would notice that it's not white unless they looked really closely but for some reason the programmers insist on making it off-white materia'  
materia is cheesy AND annoying. I would also like to apologize for the  
delay of Final Idiotsy X, It's coming along.........  
  
Tiara: Ok, we have a few hours to make one million krill, how?  
  
Tarot: We could rob a bank.  
  
Air: No, I have a graet idea!  
  
Tiara: Spell-check?  
  
Air: No, when I was in Long Moldyfolk's manor in chapter 16, I noticed that the education system here in the K market isn't that great...  
  
Tiara: How so?  
  
Air: Well...........................................................................  
  
Enter Flashback scene:  
  
Long: Look at the view, you can see all of the K-market, you can even hear the kids at the school nearby.........  
  
The camera switches to a classroom in which the teacher is showing the kids 3 melons.  
  
Teacher: Uno Melon, dos melon, tres melon! Now you know how to count to three in Spanish.  
  
Kids: YAY!!!  
  
Teacher: If you have any feelings of excitement, swallow them now. I know that you'll forget this in 5 minutes so......... Let's just play Twister!  
  
Kids: Double YAY!!!!  
  
Teacher: Shut up.  
End Flashback scene  
  
Tarot: I see; how does that tie in with making money?  
  
Air: We become tutors and teach the kids stuff, there parents will then give us money.  
  
Tiara: Do you honestly think that teachers will give US money even though we have no experience, licenses, or smarts?  
  
Air: Why not  
  
Tiara: Good enough for me.  
  
Tarot: Same here!  
  
Tiara: Where first Mr. Air?  
  
Air: Don't call me Mr. Air, You have to say Mr., then my last name.  
  
Tarot: But we don't know your last name!  
  
Air: Oh, it's-  
  
Suddenly, a meteor falls and lands right on Air.  
  
DSR: Note to self: Mission accomplished.  
  
Air crawls out from under the meteor without a scratch.  
  
DSR: Note to self: Ignore last note to self.  
  
Air: Anyway, my last name is-  
  
Lightning strikes right where air is standing, but he moves just in time.  
  
Air: My last name is Torbit (Tee-ore-bit)  
  
Tiara: *Laughter* T- T- *Intense laughter* Te- *Super intense laughter* Tor- Torbit??!!  
  
Tarot: Calling Air Torbit! Calling Air Torbit! *Laughter* Torbit!! *Super intense laughter*  
  
Air: -,-  
  
Tiara: Sorry Mr. *Snicker* Torbit!! *Humungous laughter*  
  
Tarot: * Humungous laughter*  
  
Air: I hate you-  
  
Suddenly, an arrow is shot at Mr. Torbit, he's about to be hit when...  
  
Air: Hey! A five-krill piece!  
  
Air bends down to get it and the arrow goes right over his head.  
  
DSR: DAMN IT!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for D'oh! A Maniac Negro Idles Torbit?  
  
DSR: God, why do you hate me?  
  
God: You are intolerant of others.  
  
DSR: What?  
  
God: Uhh, I mean, Uhh... Meow, yeah...Yeah, that's it, I'm a cat......... NOT God, a cat.  
  
DSR: umm...  
  
Tarot: Let's just go Mr. *Laughs* Torbit!!!  
  
Air: Oh no, you got to laugh at my last name. Now, I get to laugh at yours. Tarot...  
  
Tarot: Uhh...  
  
Air: Come on.  
  
Tarot: FINE! My last name is asnfozshegfe  
  
Air: asnfozshegfe??!! *Laughs!* That's weirder than Torbit!! Tiara, what's yours?  
  
Tiara: asnfozshegfe, I'm married to Tarot.  
  
Air: Maiden name?  
  
Tiara (Shamefully): Myoonfufucaloo (my-oon-foo-foo-cale-hoo)  
  
Air: And you guys laugh at Torbit.  
  
Suddenly, a man comes up with an M-16 cocked and loaded.  
  
Air: Hi, Hey! You're Emtarkanderundergunderson! I remember you from bhdutfjhafjhsgesyufgdehtdufdjsfisfu Universities!  
  
Emtarkanderundergunderson: Air! It's been a while! A man named DSR wants me to kill you, but I can't, not you!  
  
Emtarkanderundergunderson tosses his gun away.  
  
DSR: DAMNIT!!!  
  
Tiara: Let's go teach some stupid kids!  
  
Air: Ok!  
  
They all go into different houses. In Mr. Torbit's...  
  
Air: Hi woman, do you have a son who's struggling with homework?  
  
Woman: No, I have a daughter...  
  
Air: Good enough, I'm Mr. Torbit, a tutor.  
  
Woman: T- T Torbit??!! *Super laughter*  
  
Air: Goodbye.  
  
Air goes up to the daughter's room.  
  
Daughter: Hi Mr. Man, I'm Lisa.  
  
Air: Uhh-  
  
Lisa: I'm young and cute and sweet and cute and I'm only 9 years old!  
  
Air: Well Lisa, I'm Mr. Torbit, I'm here to tutor you, what do you need help on?  
  
Lisa: Nothing! Look at my math!  
  
She holds up a multiplication sheet that says 10X2=21, 5X0=5, 6X2=13, 19X0=19, and so on...  
  
Air: Let me teach you something. If you multiply anything by 0, it equals 0.  
  
Lisa: WHAT??!!  
  
Air: Let me show you, see this *Puts two beans on a table*, times two, *Puts two more beans on the table* equals four. But, If I have two *Clears two beans off table* times zero *Takes the remaining beans* then *Points to table* There's nothing left.  
  
Lisa: What do you mean? There's a table.  
  
Air: Forget it! You are unworthy to be taught by Mr. Torbit! Goodbye!  
  
Lisa suddenly catches on fire.  
  
DSR: WHAT??!! How could Fire 23 miss??!! Note to self: Air is indestructible.  
  
Air runs out and finds Tiara and Tarot who have also given up.  
  
Tiara: Well, let's just go to Rambo, Mr. *Snicker* Mr. Torbit. 


	23. What's with the chloroform?

Air: Well, let's ust go tell Rambo we can't do it.  
  
Tiara: Ok, Torbit.  
  
Air: You didn't laugh!  
  
Tarot: The reviewers didn't think that Torbit was clever, especially Sinkeywinky.  
  
Air: Oh...  
  
They go to the tower and climb until they reach Rambo...  
  
Rambo: HA! You're late! I've stolen the girl. She's now at the Spitwad inc. building. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Also, The bomb has been activated.  
  
Rambo flies out in a helicopter.  
  
Air: We've got to rescue AirHead! I think that we should divide into 4 parts: Infiltration, Getting there. Breakdown, killing/destroying. Lone Wolf, it sounds better then "Walk through the now empty halls until we find AirHead. and Escape! Let's go-  
  
The Bomb goes off and the explosion propels the super dudes into a high floor on the Spitwad building.  
  
Air: Ok, that works for step 1...  
  
Tiara: Let's go through that door *Points to door*  
  
They go and end up in a room that's completely empty except for a monk.  
  
Monk: If you wish to find AirHead, go through the hall and face the challenge in each room.  
  
Air: Ok.  
  
They go to the next room and see a man in a suit.  
  
Man: You can pass if you get this question right: Which of the following statement's are true, and which are false? #1: Statement 2 is true. #2: Statement 1 is False. #3: I like Jell-O.  
  
Air: Uhh, guys?  
  
Tiara: I don't know...  
  
Tarot: Hmm...  
  
Air: Wait! I know!  
  
Man: If you get it wrong, you die.  
  
Air: Maybe I don't know...  
  
Tarot: I do know! Watch!  
  
Tarot goes up to the man and knocks him unconscious with a bottle of chloroform he somehow holds with his tennis racket arm.  
  
Tarot: Learn from the pros!  
  
Air: Now you're out of Chloroform.  
  
Tarot: D'oh!  
  
Homer: Hey, that's infringement!  
  
They go to the next room where they see four men around a sword in a stone.  
  
Man 1: This  
  
Man 2: Is  
  
Man 3 : The  
  
All four men: Stone In The Sword!!!  
  
Tiara: The Stone in the sword?  
  
Man 1: Yes, The Stone In The Sword. You can try this for a reward, or skip to the next room-  
  
Air: Let's skip.  
  
Tarot: Yeah.  
  
Man 2: Winning, will give-  
  
Air: I said we're going.  
  
Man 3: Here's how to play, you-  
  
Air: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??!!  
  
Man 4: No. Anyway, you try to pull the stone from the sword. If you succeed, you can keep the stone to throw at someone. If you lose, we get to take your soul.  
  
Air: FINE!!!  
  
Air picks the sword out of the stone with ease.  
  
Air: I'm just going to keep the sword.  
  
Men: Why didn't we think of that?  
  
Man 1: You can only take the stone.  
  
Air: Why?  
  
Man 3: What Man 1 means is, GIVE US THE SWORD!!!  
  
Air: NEVER!!!  
  
Men: Then die.  
  
They use Water 3.14159 and Air dies.  
  
DSR: WHAT??!! How? What? Huh?  
  
A black specter comes up to Air.  
  
Black thing: I am the Grim Reaper, die Air.  
  
The Grim Reaper swings his scythe at Air, it's just about to hit when...  
  
We interrupt this story  
for......................................COMMERCIALS!!!  
  
A creepy Dutch guy stands infront of a mirror. (Say what he says outloud, it's fun)  
  
Dutch guy: Da Mee, Da Mee on da all, who Eee da fayist 'o dem all? Ohh! It hoe in me! o app eee aye! Ow, da mee, da mee on da all, who eee da east faye 'o dem ah? eee sho eee a en! At is da eaning o tis meestaa mee??!!  
  
Announcer: Your mirror giving you problems? Try byeing one from southern guy thing mirror company that makes mirrors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And Gelatin)  
  
Back to the story...  
  
Air uses his sword and kills death somehow.  
  
Air: Chloroform? Use a sword next time.  
  
Tarot: You can be mean to me all you want, but NEVER insult the Chloroform.  
  
Air: Ok, You're ugly!  
  
Tiara: Is it just me, or is it weird that Air isn't doing the acronym joke?  
  
Tarot: It's just you.  
  
A Green reaper appears.  
  
Reaper 2: You may killed The Grim Reaper, but not his brother!!! I am......................................................THE GRIM RAPPER!!!!  
  
Backup singers: Bookachica Bookachica Bookachica Bookachica!!!  
  
Rapper: I think that you can understand,  
  
I'm doing this, it's in my business plan.  
  
Yo' momma died from my bro,  
  
Yo' father died too,  
  
But-  
  
Air: UGH! THAT'S ANNOYING!!!!!  
  
Air stabs him, and he's replaced by a yellow reaper.  
  
Reaper 3: You killed my cousins, but not me, I am....................................THE GRIM RAPER  
  
Tiara: Oh Crap...  
  
Grim Raper goes up to Tiara and pulls her dress off.  
  
Tarot: Nobody does that to my wife except me!!! KAMEHAMEHA!!!! Prepare to face the wrath of Chloroform!!!  
  
Air: Tarot, you're out of Chloroform.  
  
Tarot: D'oh.  
  
Homer: That's it, I'm suing... 


	24. Bad drawers, and unsensitivety

CircleHard presents:  
  
Final Idiotsy 7  
By Dark Shadow Raider  
  
Air: What's an Idiotsy?  
  
Tarot: Shut up.  
  
Our story begins as an idiot with a board sits in a train next to an obese Freak.  
  
Tarot: Hey!!! I'm not obese! It's all muscle.  
  
Air: Right...  
  
Tarot: Remember, once we enter the Playdoh Reactor, Air will place the bomb, Jenny and Big will decipher the codes, and the rest of will get paid even though we just run- HEY DSR! YOU GOT THE WRONG CHAPTER, MORON!!!  
  
DSR: Sorry...  
  
Please wait... PLease wait... PLEase wait... PLEAse wait... PLEASe wait...  
  
Tarot: If I can't use chloroform... I'M DOOMED!!! Wait a minute, maybe I can use...............CHLOROFORM!!!! I'm a genius.  
  
Tiara: Tarot, repeat after me. You. Are. Out. Of. Chloroform.  
  
Tarot: But, without Chloroform... I'm powerless!  
  
Air: No you aren't. You dealt the final blow on-  
  
Tarot: Airhead once struck the final blow! If Airhead can do it, a snake could! I'm as powerful as a snake!!! A Snake!  
  
Air: I give up.  
  
Grim Raper: Umm, when do I go in?  
  
DSR: Oh yeah, we won't need you for a while.  
  
Raper: WHAT??!! Good BYE!  
  
DSR: Air, why aren't you doing the ACRONYM joke anymore?  
  
Air: Does that stand for A Cruel Red Onion Needs Young Monkeys?  
  
DSR: God, why do you hate me?  
  
Powerful Voice: You stole that kid's BB gun when you were- Umm............ Meow... Meow... Purrrrrrrrrrr......  
  
DSR: OK...  
  
A fourth reaper appears, but this one has acne on a human head, sandles, and a torn cloak.  
  
Reaper: (pathetically) Hi, I'm Chris. The 3rd runner up reaper. Fear Me.  
  
Air: Umm, this running joke is getting out of hand.  
  
Chris: (Pathetically) I'll let you go to the next room if you play pictionary with me. Nobody ever does play with me. I wonder why. Will You.  
  
Tarot: Sure.  
  
Chris: (Pathetically) Let's start. The topless woman can be on my team.  
  
Tiara: No Way, Loser.  
  
Chris: (Pathetically) Ok, I'll be with Air.  
  
Note: This pictionary game is interactive to the extent that Fan Fiction dot net allows! I'll put what the characters draw in ASCII form, and you  
can guess what they are!!! Not in a review or e-mail, but in your mind,  
then scroll down to see if you're right. Sorry to get your hopes up.  
  
Tiara: I'll go first. *Draws a card* This is easy!!! *Draws the following*  
  
_________  
\ .............. /  
\ ............ /  
\ ........ /  
\ ... /  
\ ./  
/\  
/....\  
/........\  
/............\  
/_______\  
  
Tarot: An Hourglass!  
  
Tiara: Yep.  
  
Chris: (pathetically) Our Turn. *Pulls a card and draws the following*  
  
000 ........000  
00000 ... 00000  
0000000.0000000  
|..............|  
  
Air: RICHARD NIXON!!!!  
  
Chris: (pathetically) Nope.  
  
Air: A Lava Lamp!  
  
Chris: (pathetically) One more guess...  
  
Air: A grove? I don't know...  
  
Chris: (pathetically) Yep.  
  
Tarot: Ok. *Pulls a card and draws the following*  
  
-------- -----------------______  
\ / |__| \  
\___/ \  
  
Tiara: Man, you suck. Umm, a train?  
  
Tarot: No.  
  
Tiara: A profile of Mannhatten?  
  
Tarot: No.  
  
Tiara: Gosh, you suck!  
  
Tarot: I know. *Starts crying*  
  
Tiara: Umm, a street car?  
  
Tarot: I'm sorry! *Cries* I was voted "least likely to become an artist" in high school.  
  
Tiara: You went to high school?  
  
Tarot: It's that worm thing from "The Abyss"  
  
Tiara: Well, I guess that if you squint........ and unfocus your eyes......... it sort of looks like......... a member of the republican party.  
  
Tarot: Oh, my life is a failure! I'm as powerful as a snake, I'm out of Chloroform, and I can't draw!!!  
  
Chris: (pathetically) This is annoying. Later Homies. And Downie.  
  
Chris walks off.  
  
Air: Let's go.  
  
Tarot: You want me to just forget abot me being as talented and strong as a snake??!!  
  
Air: That's not a nice thing to say.  
  
Tiara: Yeah, snakes have feelings too you know. Where do you get off insulting them?  
  
Powerful Voice: The topless chick is right. Where do you get- Uhh...... Meow..... Meow Meow........ Purrrr...  
  
They go into the next room, a library. Near the wall is a man sorting paper. They go up to him.  
  
Air: Who are you?  
  
Guy: I'm Simon Cowell, AKA Mayor Pizza Hut. If you can guess my password, you may pass.  
  
Tiara: Do you know how stupid that name is?  
  
Pizza Hut/ Simon: Do you know that you'r supposd to wear a dress? Are you some kind of hippie that is too stupid to feel a draft? If so, congrats! You're smart enough to teach a baby pig how to eat, and nothing more.  
  
Air: What's the password?  
  
Simon: I'm not telling.  
  
Air: Is it Salami?  
  
Simon: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Melting! I'm Melting! I can't think of a sarcastic comment!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!!!!!  
  
They run into the next room...  
  
Air: Cool *Runs to the center* A model of Mildew!  
  
Sure enough, he stands infront of a model of the city.  
  
Tiara: Cool.  
  
Tarot: Wow, a model. How exiting.  
  
Tiara: Calm down Grumperella.  
  
Grumper- I mean Tarot: Now you're treating me like I'm a girl??!!  
  
Tiara: Don't insult us! Jerk!  
  
Air: Hey, the spitwad building! *Points to center of model* Die Building!  
  
Air takes the top off the Spitwad Building and sees a room with a miniature Air, Mini Tarot, Mini Tiara, and a model with the roof off inside the building in the model.  
  
Air: Wow!  
  
Mini Air: Wow!  
  
Mini Mini Air (Inside mini model): Wow!  
  
Etc... Etc...  
  
Air looks up and sees a giant Air looking at a Giant Giant Air looking at a Giant Giant Giant Air, Etc...  
  
Air: Shit!  
  
Giant Air: Shit!  
  
Mini Air: Shit!  
  
Giant Giant Air: Shit!  
  
Mini Mini Air: Shit!  
  
Etc... Etc...  
  
Air waves his hand up and down while looking at a giant Air waving his hand up and down while looking at a bigger Air waving his hand up and down while looking at a bigger Air waving his hand up and down while looking at a bigger Air waving his hand up and down while looking at a bigger Air waving his hand up and down while looking at a bigger Air and so on.  
  
Air: *slowly puts the roof back on* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs into next room* 


	25. More singin' and dancing

The team enters the next room and see three men.  
  
Man 1: Tell me Air, what is your favorite game?  
  
Air: Metal Gear Solid.  
  
Man 2:Tell me Tiara, what is your favorite game?  
  
Tiara: Final Fantasy X, the game that should be parodied by DSR by now.......  
  
DSR: Sorry...  
  
Man 3: Tell me Tarot, what is your favorite game?  
  
Tarot: Guilty Gears!  
  
Air: Guilty Gears?  
  
Tiara: Guilty Gears?  
  
Tarot: You've never heard of Guilty Gears?! It's a fighting game!  
  
Man 1: We will sing songs that diss your favorite games... Air, you can be the first to suffer. Listen to this: (sung to the tune of the "Scooby Doo, Where Are You" theme)  
  
He's the Solid Snake  
  
He's got two left feet.  
  
His stealth is mediocre.  
  
Whe-en he gets caught  
  
On Level 1  
  
He just dives in the water!  
  
He's the Solid Snake,  
  
Konami's big mistake!  
  
He likes to hit on Meryl.  
  
If he gets stuck  
  
On any puzzle,  
  
He'll just call the Colonel.  
  
He is the Solid  
  
Yes the Solid,  
  
Not liquid, metal or gas.  
  
He's the Solid Snake,  
  
Such a big disgrace,  
  
To all games in the U. S.  
  
He's the Solid Snake,  
  
Konami's big mistake!  
  
He likes to hit on Meryl.  
  
If he gets stuck  
  
On any puzzle,  
  
He'll just call the Colonel.  
  
(End Song)  
  
Air: That wasn't very hard.  
  
Tiara: Let's just go.  
  
Air: Yeah.  
  
Man 2: But we still have two songs...  
  
Tarot: Who cares?  
  
Man 3: I can let you pass if you can defeat me in Mortal Combat!!!!!!!!  
  
Air: I love that game.  
  
Man 3: Not Mortal Kombat, Mortal Combat.  
  
Air: I hate that game.  
  
Man 3: IT'S NOT A GAME!!!!!!!  
  
Air: Whatever....  
  
The team enters the next room and see AirHead in a tube with some Teal Fox- thingy  
  
Man: Hello Super Dudes...  
  
Tiara: THAT'S NOT OUR NAME!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Traps, Hats, and Tiger Sharks Need Orange Trees Or Understanding Rabbit Nibblers And Marmalade Eggplant?  
  
Tiara(sarcastically): Yes, He said "Hello Super Dudes...", and I responded by saying "Tiger Sharks Need Orange Trees Or Understanding Rabbit Nibblers And Marmalade Eggplant!!!"  
  
Air: So I was right?  
  
Man: Sorry. I presume that you have come to save AirHead, well-  
  
Air: Shut up. Who are you anyway?  
  
Man: I'm-  
  
Air: I said shut up.  
  
Man: But you-  
  
Air: Shut Up.  
  
Man: I'm just-  
  
Air: As in: NO TALKING!!!  
  
Man: I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU MY NAME!!!!!  
  
Air: Sorry... you don't have to be so mean.  
  
Man: I am Homo, the greatest scientific genius in the world!!!  
  
Tarot: What?  
  
Suddenly, Dr. Eggman walks in accompanied by theme music.  
  
Music: The Story begins!  
  
With who's gonna' win?  
  
In spite of the danger lies within!  
  
Aboard the ARK  
  
a genius departs!  
  
Wantin' to unlock  
  
The mystries' a' life!  
  
I am the Eggman...  
  
That's what I am  
  
I am the Eggman  
  
I got the master plan  
  
I am the Eggman...  
  
Eggman: You claim to be the greatest scientific genius... In all the world. That's my title however, and- HEY, DSR! YOU GOT MY NAME WRONG!!! I'M DR. ROBOTNIK!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Hats Envy Young Drunk Stallion Riders, Young Oranges, Understandable-  
  
Tiara: No.  
  
DSR: You aren't even supposed to be here.  
  
Eggman: Well, he stole my title and- YOU GOT MY NAME WRONG AGAIN!!!  
  
Air: Does-  
  
DSR: NO! And "Robotnik", If you hate being called Eggman, why do you have the Egg Hornet, Egg Carrier-  
  
Eggman: They are now called the Robotnik Bee, and the Robotnik Rocket.  
  
DSR: The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Tiara: The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Tarot: The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Air: The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Homo: Why aren't I killing you now?  
  
AirHead: The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Teal Fox-thingy: The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Tiara: The dog talked?  
  
Chris(pathetically): The Robotnik Rocket?  
  
Eggman: Yes, and-  
  
DSR: Guys, should I kill Eggman?  
  
All: YES!!!  
  
DSR: Okay.  
  
Battle Start: enemy(s): Eggman (x1)  
  
DSR: Death!  
  
bATTLE eND: wINNER: dsr!!!  
  
dsr: d'OH! fORGOT TO TAKE OFF CAPSLOCK... There we go...  
  
We now return you to you're regulrly scheduled Paredy...  
  
DSR: Ok, Mr. McMcMcerson of the Mcy land of Mc isn't doing his job well, so... Please welcome our NEW spellchecker: HomeStarRunner!!!!  
  
Homestarrunner: Hi. I'm the HomeStaw Wunnew. Some folks say I'm a tewwific asthlete.  
  
DSR: Hopefully you're a good speller too.  
  
Homestar: Yeah, I think I wemembew something like that. Ow maybe it was Mawzipan's flowew gawden...  
  
Homo: Ok-  
  
Tarot: Shut up, *Frees AirHead*  
  
AirHead: Thanks.  
  
Fox-thingy: Thank you. *starts attacking Homo* *Attacks Homo* *Finishes attacking Homo* I am Teal 197097496593696596983-9648.  
  
Tarot: Oh god...  
  
Powerful Voice: You must, Uhh... Mreeeeooooooowwwww Meow Meow Purrrrrrrrrrrr Hiss Meow  
  
Air: You're always welcome!  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Joined your party!!!  
  
Tarot: We have a party?! Awesome! Where are the chips?  
  
Tiara: He means our team, Moron.  
  
DSR: Tiara is right.  
  
Tarot: I hate you guys...  
  
Air: Then why are you on our team?  
  
Tarot: 'Cause I got to pay for Charlene's schooling!!!  
  
Air: Where is Charlene anyway?  
  
Meanwhile In the bar......  
  
Guy: I would like change for a ten-Krill piece.  
  
Charlene: Well I would like a dad who was actually here for me! I would like a dad who didn't leave me to run this bar while he goes and almost gets killed! I would like a dad who let me have friends! I WOULD LIKE A NORMAL LIFE!!!!! But do you hear me whining? NO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Guy: You're whining right now.  
  
Charlene: Shut up.  
  
Guy: Not until I get change.  
  
Charlene: I hate you! I hate my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!  
  
Back to our zeroes......  
  
Homo: Well, now that that guy is dead, let's continue... I am the greatest scientific genius... IN THE WORLD!!!  
  
Air: I doubt it.  
  
Tiara: There must be someone better than you, "The grass is always greener on the other side..."  
  
Homo: I'm on the other side!  
  
Tarot: There is always someone better than you.  
  
Homo: That's impossible! There is always someone who's the best. And I'm the best scientist in the world.  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648: No, you aren't. There is always someone better.  
  
AirHead: Yeah! GAIN THAT!!!  
  
Air: What?  
  
AirHead: It means Golden Antelopes In Norway Trampled Hitler's Aunt's Tree.  
  
Air: That's stupid.  
  
Homo: Ok, somewhere out there there is a man who can Hula-Hoop for 8732548732054250832540563280560824593659346596435983298465649658500287548569 325479.83265 hours and nobody is better than him.  
  
Teal 197097whatever: But someone out there can Hula-Hoop for 8732548732054250832540563280560824593659346596435983298465649658500287548569 325479.83267 hours, but he doesn't tell anyone.  
  
Homo: But nobody's better than him!  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648: I'm going to say my name 100 times:  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648 Teal 197097496593696596983-9648  
  
Homo: Anyway... MY GRASS IS GREENEST!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for My Young Gay Rabbit And 'Slippery Snake Iodine Stabilizer' Give Red, Evil......  
  
Homo: I love my life!  
  
Tiara: Tell us about your childhood.  
  
Homo: Well, my mother was a 15-year-old prostitute with web toes, my father was a cruel and bitter man who would always throw beer cans out on the street and sing "Empty Beer Cans, On the road, Are Ugly Many Say. But at night, reflecting bright, they safely guide the way!". He owned a paper- making plant and forced me to work 29 hours a day! He strapped me to a chair and made me do chair-work, the chair could move see. So one hwekuhgday, I chaired my way out and made a fake ID. With it I bought Tobacco all day and grew Tobacco all night. I sold my Tobacco to that one camel thing,-you know how they have the camel who's name is, like, 'Joe the Camel', but I call him 'Mr. Camel Mama"-while watching "Monty Python's Flying Circus". Remember that one song: "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all Day"  
  
Air: He's a lumberjack.  
  
AirHead: And he's OK.  
  
Tiara: He sleeps all night  
  
Tarot: And he works all day!  
  
Homo: Yes, I love that song, memories of the days of old. Back before the newfangled Nuclear plants got all around. I remember the classical music, like that one band, 'The Russian Guys'. I still have their first album, with the song that's like "We're the Russian Guys!!! I know we're here to stay". And guess what, I'm the one who invented the "Cow Switchy"-  
  
Air: The "Cow Switchy"?  
  
Tarot: What the hell?  
  
Homo: You know, the "Cow Switchy", the invention that turns anything into a cow. I hoped that I would end world hunger and get rid of garbage and nuclear waste by turning those things into cows. But when I turned nuclear waste into a cow and someone ate it and was like "Oh No! The cow's radioactive!" and then he started growing fins and a tail and started singing "Hello my baby, Hello my Honey. Hello my rag-time gal" and got me and the "Cow Switchy" banned from California. Then I made a new invention that was called the "Ham Radio"  
  
AirHead: That was made by Tom Edison.  
  
Homo: That's what they want you to believe. I also made the "Age Machine" I made a clever marketing ploy: A song that was like:  
  
Homo: Have you seen?  
  
Have you seen?  
  
My super awesome  
  
Age machine!  
  
Air: Just pick an age you want to be.  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648: And 20 cents is all the fee.  
  
AirHead: Do I hear two?  
  
Tarot: four, six, eleven?  
  
Tiara: Someone want to be seventy-seven?  
  
Homo: Just gather 'round  
  
Air: Now now, don't crowd.  
  
Homo: I go to bed... and rest my head...  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648: I woke in the morning'.  
  
Tiara: Sheets are red.  
  
AirHead: Bowlin' ball smashed on my head.  
  
Tarot: Machine stolen, Money gone.  
  
Air: Ages scattered 'cross the lawn.  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648: I guess I made a big mistake.  
  
Homo: They even took my 'Lectric Rake. (End song)  
  
All: I LOVE THAT SONG!!!  
  
Homo: It's true. They did take my 'Lectric Rake. I wanted to get it back, so I made a song. LET ME SING IT THIS TIME!!!!!  
  
Have you seen,  
  
Have you seen,  
  
My 'Lectric Rake?  
  
That age machine was a big mistake.  
  
But my Lectric' Rake,  
  
My 'Lectric Rake-  
  
Air: You didn't write that, The Russian Guys did.  
  
Homo: I am the Russian Guys.  
  
Air: But you're only one person.  
  
Homo: That's what they want you to think... I remember when I went to my first tea house. The tea was like "I'm tea" And I'm all "The tea talked" and then a waiter said "That's the talking tea!" and the tea's like "I'm talkin' Tea!" and then I ate the fortune cookie and it said "I'm a cookie" and I love you guys! Guys? Gggggguuuuuuuyyyyyysssssss????!!!!!!  
  
The team had run away and was now caught and in jail.  
  
Air: Well, we're in jail!  
  
Tiara: Let's leave.  
  
Teal 197097496593696596983-9648: Yeah.  
  
The team walks out of the cell and sees something..........EVIL!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
AirHead: Ahhhhhhhhhh! A trail of red spray paint!!!!!!!!! Nnnnnnnnooooooooooooo!!!!!! *faints*  
  
To be continued... DUN DUN DUN!!!!!  
  
DSR: Duh it's going to be continued, I wouldn't end my story with a girl fainting. Especially if it's a parody of a game that I have barely even gotten into.  
  
So what? We need a clever thing to draw them in.  
  
DSR: They already are drawn in! Why would they read 24 chapters if they weren't??!!  
  
I don't know? A bet?  
  
DSR: I'm getting a new narrator...  
  
Air: I thought you were the narrator.  
  
DSR: ...................Shut up. 


	26. Tiara the AntiGoth

The team slowly follows the trail of spraypaint and soon see a sleeping guard.  
  
Guard: ZzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZ  
  
Air: This is getting freaky.  
  
Tarot: Reah, Reaky.  
  
The team keeps walking and eventually find an elevator.  
  
Teal 197097whatever: Let's call it.  
  
Air: Yeah, HEY ELEVATOR! WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER??!! WE WAN'T TO CALL YOU!!!  
  
Tiara: Maybe I'll do it. *Presses call button*  
  
The elevator comes down and the team gets on.  
  
Air: Where are we going?  
  
AirHead: Well, we could go down and escape from this creepy place, or we could murder the resident.  
  
Tarot: You mean the president?  
  
AirHead: Uhh... sure.  
  
They go up to the top to murder the president even though that won't solve anything. (would murdering Bush stop the forests from being destroyed?) At the next floor, a creepy goth girl comes in.  
  
NOTE: I am not a goth, nor do I know anything about Goths besides stereotypes. If you are a goth, you will take offense from the goth character. You have been warned.  
  
Tiara: Hello, freaky, creepy goth dude.  
  
Tiara stares at this creep who's wearing pewter cross necklaces, tons of pairings, more makeup than face, black clothing, pentagram jewelry, what appears to be ripped fishnet, a spiked dog collar, and purple hair that's crazier then Air's.  
  
Goth: Falling ever darkly into  
  
the ebon abyss of feral eyes,  
  
screaming against  
  
the groping fingers of your  
  
black obsessive passion,  
  
torment.  
  
Tarot: What are you doing here anyway?  
  
Goth: ...  
  
Tarot: I repeat, what are you doing here anyway?  
  
Goth: ... (Too entranced in an Anne Rice Novel)  
  
AirHead: Earth to Creep!!!  
  
Goth Girl: Hissss.  
  
Air: Can you like, talk normally?  
  
Goth gal: To do so would enthrall my calamitous spirit and send ecstatic sparks of rejuvenating joy throughout my derelict mind of sorrow.  
  
Tiara: Ok...  
  
Tarot: Can you like, never talk to us again?  
  
Goth Girl: *Pushes Tiara into the side of the elevator*  
  
Tarot: Hey!  
  
Goth: She was going to step on that ant.  
  
Tarot: An ant is more important than my wife??!!  
  
Goth: Already there are to many humans...  
  
Elevator: Ding!  
  
Teal 197097: Well, this is our stop. Bye.  
  
The team rushes out of the elevator.  
  
Everyone: Phew.  
  
Tiara: I never want to see another goth again. If I do, I will go insane...  
  
They keep walking until they get to the president's room.  
  
Tarot: What, the president is dead! NNNnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooo!!!  
  
Teal 197097: Our goal was to kill him anyway.  
  
Tarot: But I didn't get to kill him.  
  
Air: The Costumefe is in the president's back; only Pornoroth, Zack, and Tiara can use that blade.  
  
AirHead: Then that means. (DUN Dun DUN)  
  
Air: Pornoroth is alive.  
  
Suddenly, a huge fat guy walks in.  
  
Fat Guy: You killed the president Spitwad!  
  
Teal 197097: THE president Spitwad?  
  
Suddenly a teenager walks in.  
  
Teenager: Hello people, I'm Fido.  
  
Teal 197097, Air, AirHead, Tiara, Tarot, and Fat Guy: Hello Fido!  
  
Fido: Yes I- WAIT A MINUTE! MY FATHER IS DEAD! I mean, uhh, yeah. I'm the one that killed my father, I'm not only now president, I'm also a murderer. COOL!!!  
  
Air: You didn't kill him, you just showed up. We've been here the whole time. Pornoroth killed him.  
  
Fido: (damn) Umm, that's just what it looks like because all of you are near blind because of the umm, Blindmakergassygasthing, it makes anyone who isn't name Fido become nearly blind!  
  
Teal 197097: Then why can I see you just fine?  
  
Fido: Umm, it only works on humans (yeah that's it)  
  
Teal 197097: Then why didn't I see you kill the resident?  
  
Air: You mean president?  
  
Teal 197097: Whatever.  
  
Fido: If you're so smart, you'll be able to kill me! Right?  
  
Air: What?  
  
Fido: Come Air! *Drags Air outside*  
  
Air: You're crazy.  
  
Fido: Yes I am, you will die.  
  
meanwhile...  
  
Tiara: We've got to wait for Air.  
  
AirHead: Wait for that moron? Let's just get the hell out of here.  
  
Tiara: I'm going to wait for Air; you can escape.  
  
Teal 197097: Ok.  
  
They run out of the building and into an elevator.  
  
Tarot: Let's go down.  
  
AirHead(sarcastically): No, really? I thought we should just stay here.  
  
Tarot: Good thing I suggested it then.  
  
They go down and soon hear a voice.  
  
Voice: Transformers, robots in Da' Skies.  
  
A robot flies by.  
  
AirHead: I thought it was 'Robots in disguise' not 'Robots in da' skies'  
  
Voice: D'oh! Transformers, robots in disguise.  
  
Another elevator comes down by them and starts following them down the building.  
  
Other elevator: Watch me transform!!!  
  
The other elevator gets magically taken apart and put back together in a way that makes it look sortof like a toaster on pot.  
  
Toaster thing: Let's battle!  
  
Teal 197097: Ok, LIGHTING!!!  
  
Lightning hits the toaster making it explode.  
  
Tarot: Woah, where'd you learn that?  
  
Teal 197097: Internet.  
  
Back to Air...  
  
Air: Why do you want to kill me?  
  
Fido: It's all part of my plan. Once I kill you, DSR will have no way to continue this story; the ACRONYM joke is the main reason anyone likes this story, and if anyone else does it, it will be out of character. This story will be ruined, and DSR will finally have to write final idiotsy X. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAhaaaahaHAHAHHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHNANAAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!  
  
DSR: Don't bring up FIX. Ever.  
  
Fido falls off the roof but comes back up riding on top of a helicopter's blades, because of this, he keeps twirling around.  
  
Fido: YoU cAnT dEfEaT fIdO!!!  
  
Air: Does that stand for Yellow Underlings Are Tasty, Evil, Edible Trees In Ohio?  
  
Fido: No. AnD yOu CaNt WiN!!  
  
Air: Who's piloting that helicopter?  
  
Fido: Oh yeah. *Helicopter stops and falls* OK, MAYBE YOU can defeat me... *Vanishes*  
  
DSR: That's what you get for bringing up the subject of FIX.  
  
Air: I'm surprised that worked, I mean, this isn't like a cartoon.  
  
Air walks a ways and then trips.  
  
Laugh Track: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Air runs until he sees Tiara.  
  
Tiara: Let's go.  
  
Air: I have a question about that goth-  
  
Tiara: AHH!!!!  
  
Air: Umm, ok...  
  
Tiara: Don't say that word!  
  
Air: What, Goth?  
  
Tiara: AHHH!!!!!  
  
Air: Cool. Goth!  
  
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Air: Goth!  
  
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Air: Goth!  
  
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Air: Goth!  
  
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Air: Gothy mcGothGoth of the Goth land of Goth!!!  
  
Tiara: AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!  
  
Air: Ok let's go.  
  
They run out and soon get to where the others are.  
  
Air: You guys go and escape in that Ferrari *Points to Ferrari I'll escape on that Charcoal Bowl! *Points to a creature that looks like an ostrich with measles that's on heroin and has 3 humps and is asleep and is 6540932654 years old.  
  
Tiara: Um, a ferrari only has two seats. Uhh, I CALL SHOTGUN!!!  
  
They ride off leaving Air behind.  
  
Air: Ok, Charcoality Boality. *Sits on Charcoal Boal* Mush! Mush! *Spanks Charcoal Boal*  
  
Charcoal Bowl: WORK!!!! WORK!!!!  
  
The charcoal Bowl starts running at about 856848829528519519888805682.456835 MPH, or, for you English readers, about 856848829528519519888805682.4568348 KPH. Soon, the charcoal bowl is way far past the ferrari and infact finally out of Mildew; 3 hours later the team catches up.  
  
Air: What took you?  
  
Tiara: We had to fight this boss that gave us 42936482348235482462548274018548153801534810586532985015081 gil each.  
  
Air: Well, you're late! Lateness is a crime. I fine each of you 42936482348235482462548274018548153801534810586532985015081 gil.  
  
Tiara: Ok, we don't use gil anyway; we use krill as the currency, remember.  
  
AirHead: By the way, one gil ways 1/235 lbs. Good luck keeping up.  
  
Air: D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tarot: Let's just keep going on our quest.  
  
Tiara: Our quest is to destroy the Playdoh reactors! We've only destroyed 1/4 of them! We've got to go back to Mildew to destroy the rest!  
  
Tarot: Ok. *Goes back to Mildew only to see that you can't getback in* Ok, new plan: We Kill Pornoroth!  
  
Teal 197097: What would that solve?  
  
Tarot: Who cares??!! Let's just go.  
  
They continue until they get to a town called Rowdy. When they enter, they see that the town is full of Goths.  
  
Tiara: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tarot: A town of goths?  
  
Tiara: AHHHHHHH!!! AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!1  
  
Teal 197097: Don't you think it's weird that goths are outcasts, but this is town of all outcasts, so to be an outcast you have to not be an outcast and you have to be an outcast to become a non outcast? Goths are normally exempt from society so here all of the people are exempt from society so there isn't a society so these people are normal and to them WE'RE freaks.  
  
Tiara: *Twitch* Goths *Twitch* Gothic *Twitch* Everywhere *Twitch* Goths *Twitch*  
  
Air: Let's go find an inn before Tiara goes crazy.  
  
AirHead: Umm, Before?  
  
Tiara: gothgothgothgothgothgothgothgoth *Twitch* gothgothgothgothgothgothgothgothgoth *Twitch* gothgothgothgoth *Twitch*  
  
They run to an inn and lock themselves in their room.  
  
Air: Well, while we wait for Tiara to regain sanity-  
  
Tiara: goth *Twitch* Goth *Twitch* Goooooootttthhhh *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* Goth! *Twitch* GOTH! *Twitch* goth *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* gooooooooth *Twitch*  
  
Air: -how about I tell you about PornoRoth in a completely fabricated story.  
  
Tarot: Ok.  
  
Air: Long, Long, Ago- in the town of Jigglystem...  
  
Enter flashback:  
  
I was riding in a trolley with some other GOOD GUY soldiers and Pornoroth.  
We were sent to investigate a malfunctioning Playdoh Reactor.  
  
Young Air: So, Pornoroth, what's it like being the worlds greatest soldier to ever walk the earth?  
  
Younger Pornoroth: I am not the greatest soldier to ever walk the earth. You are Air! Let me give you 500000000000000000 krill and a trophy!!!!!!! I love you!!!  
  
In the real world...  
  
Tarot: That's not really what happened, is it?  
  
Air: No!!! But who cares??!!  
  
Tarot: Me.  
  
Air: Ok fine.  
  
Flashback time again! It's the most annoying part, of the fic!!!...  
  
Pornoroth: Don't talk to me nerd.  
  
Young Air: I'm not a nerd.  
  
Pornoroth: Yes you are, NERD!  
  
Young Air: I'm not a nerd!!!  
  
Pornoroth: Shut up nerd.  
  
Young Air: Ok your majesty heinous.  
  
We soon got to Jigglystem and met Young Tiara; she lead us to the reactor  
  
Young Tiara: Air, you can lead us through these caves even though I'm the guide.  
  
Young Air: Ok.  
  
They go through the caves and into a maze and through the maze to a fountain.  
  
Pornoroth: This is how Materia is made: A fountain like this produces energy which is stored all around, when this energy is...  
  
It took him, like, 5 hours to explain it, and about 3 of those hours were  
about how I was a nerd. Eventually, we got to the reactor...  
  
Young Air: Young Tiara, you can stay outside.  
  
We went inside and saw rows and rows of giant eggplants  
  
Pornoroth: I wonder what these are?  
  
Young Air: Duh, giant eggplants  
  
Pornoroth: I mean, what are they here for. I don't think eggplants are needed to run a reactor.  
  
Then, something came out of one of the eggplants, it was a bizarre monster.  
Pornoroth and I ran away without completing our mission and hid in a  
mansion.  
  
Back to reality..  
  
Air: I'll tell the rest in the next chapter.  
  
Tarot: Looking forward to it, where's Tiara?  
  
AirHead: I stuffed her in the closet.  
  
Tarot: Oh, Ok then. 


	27. Getting Philisophricicalil

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I haven't been planing anything special, I've just been lazy with Writer's block.

* * *

Air: Want me to continue telling the story?  
  
Tiara: No, It's stupid.  
  
Tarot: Tiara, you stopped acting crazy about goths.  
  
Tiara: AHHHH!!!  
  
Tiara falls down on the floor and starts screaming like a maniac.  
  
Air: Well, while we wait for Tiara to regain her sanity, I'll finish......  
  
I found Pornoroth in a hidden library at the bottom of the Spitwad manor. He was reading a ton of books-  
  
Tarot: We all know about Jenova and all that crap, can you skip this part and just go to the part where Pornoroth murders all of your family and friends besides Tiara?  
  
Air: Sure.  
  
I ran out after Sephiroth-  
  
Tarot: Who?  
  
I ran after Pornoroth as he rushed out of the Spitwad mansion, but as I came out I realized that in just one second he had spread Fire to the whole town and sliced the necks of everyone except Tiara and myself.  
  
Young Air: Pornoroth, Stooooppppp thiiiiiissss. I mean stop this.  
  
Pornoroth: No. I'm going to see..................... My mommy.  
  
In the present  
  
Teal 197097whatever: Mommy?!!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Tarot: What's so funny about him calling Jenova 'Mommy'? If you ask me, Pornoroth is so much more powerful because of his bond to Jenova. Even though Jenova isn't his real mother, he feels the special bond between parent and child, and he knows he must see her and avenge her by destroying his friend's family. He knows that love conquers all and that he must see Jenova, his 'Mommy', who he loves enough to name.  
  
Air: Whoa, that's all.............................Philisophricicalil.  
  
Tiara: You're only saying that because you call YOUR mom 'Mamacita'.  
  
Tarot: Umm........... That has a little to do with it  
  
Back to the un future which is the past...  
  
Pornoroth walks into the flames in a cool FMV  
  
Young Air: Whoa, not only did he walk through flames, he suddenly became DDD or #D or 3D or ddd or DDT or something. I've gotta' try that!  
  
He walks into the flames, but since he's not super cool, his clothes catch on fire.  
  
Young Air: OWWWWWWWWW!!! HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT! Ok, remember what I learned in Smoke Jumper school about if you land in the middle of a fire-  
  
Back to the future which is the present but is the future to the past which they are talking about in the future which is the present.  
  
Tarot: You were a Smoke Jumper?!!?  
  
Air: Well, only for one day. I got fired for trying to put out a fire with a Flamethrower to it's base.  
  
Teal 197097: Ok, I'm only gonna' sing this once, so listen up:  
  
If you want 'Its' to be possessive, it's just I-t-s  
  
but, if it's supposedtobeacontraction then  
  
It's I-T-apostraphe-S  
  
Scalawag.  
  
Tiara: Where'd you get that song?  
  
Teal 197097: I made it up.  
  
Tiara: No you didn't. You got that from www.homestarrunner . com  
  
Teal 197097: What, I swear I've never been to that site.  
  
Tiara: Cheat commandoes, maybe fighting for freedom  
  
Teal 197097: And each is sold separately.  
  
Tiara: Cheat commandoes, they're probably battling evil,  
  
Teal 197097: Buy all our playsets and......... Shit.  
  
Tiara: I love making people fall into my mental traps.  
  
DSR: If you can't tell by now, I'm a huge HSR fan and I'm also a huge Fair Use copyright Law fan.  
  
Air: Back to me.  
  
Tiara: O-  
  
Tarot: Tiara! You're here. Now we can go.  
  
Teal 197097: But I want to know what happens.  
  
Air: You can't defy the fox.  
  
Teal 197097: Wolf.  
  
Air: Whatever.

* * *

Air: So, Well, only for one day. I got fired for trying to put out a fire with a Flamethrower to it's base.  
  
Tarot: This constitutes something that I've thought for a long time: Air, you're an idiot.  
  
Air: Well, it made sense because of the old saying: Fight Fire with Fire. But later I realized that that was just a saying that really means: If someone throws a rock at you, throw a rock at them. If someone throws a hydroelectricular missile at you, you throw one at them. If someone poisons your leader, you poison they're leader. It's kinda like communism.  
  
Tiara: Yeah, those crazy communists.  
  
Tarot: They're all like: We dance and prance and dance. We're from the Moscow Russia, the place where communism equals FUN!!  
  
Teal 197097: And like: Here in Moscow, we no have microphone, instead, we take chicken and roll him into funnel!!!  
  
Tiara: And like: Here in Moscow, we have no, umm..., what's another Moscow stereotype?  
  
AirHead: THAT'S IT!!!!! And that does not stand for Two Hats And The Stupid Irishman Tinkle.  
  
Air: Darn.  
  
AirHead: I happen to be Moscowian (Try saying that, it's fun), And let me tell you that the things you're mocking are STEREOTYPES!!! We don't dance all day, we don't use chickens as microphones, and communism doesn't work like that!!!!!!  
  
Tarot: Ok, I'm sorry AirHead.  
  
Tiara: Me too, we didn't know.  
  
Air: You aren't really Moscowian, are you?  
  
AirHead: NO!!! [mockingly] We dance and prance and dance,  
  
We wear loose baggy pants  
  
We used to be much bigger,  
  
but now there's a million Stans...

* * *

Air: Am I ever going to finish my story?  
  
Tarot: Not Likely.  
  
Air: Then I'll just finish it super fast: Pornoroth got to the Reactor and released Jenova who possessed him and then he attacked me but I somehow lived and I won't tell you how until late in the game.  
  
Tarot: Ok, let's go.  
  
Tiara: No, I'm not passing through that Goth land again.  
  
How will they convince Tiara to leave?  
How many Russians will flame me?  
How did Air survive?  
Do dogs have lips?  
Is AirHead really Moscowian?  
Is Moscowian even a word?  
  
Find out next time on.....  
  
DAWSON'S CREEK!!!!!  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
I mean Final Idiotsy. 


	28. Plannning ahead

Air: Come on Tiara, let's just go. So what if there's a few go-  
  
Tiara: AHHHHH!!!!  
  
Tarot: At this time, I'm going to do something from my favorite game ever, METAL BEER LIQUID 2: SONS AND DAUGHTERS AND DOGS OF KIMBERLY!!! (actually coming unsoon)  
  
Tiara: I thought that your favorite game was guilty gears.  
  
Tarot: Not anymore. You know how there's that part where E.E. won't go near the bugs, but you have to get her past them?  
  
Tiara: No.  
  
Tarot: Well you do now.  
  
Tarot grabs Tiara in a headlock and drags her through the town.  
  
        On the world map  
  
Tarot: Konami, will you ever stop amazing us?  
  
AirHead: Tiara's dead, you just strangled her.  
  
Tarot: Oh well, I'll just use an angel spit™.  
  
        Item: Angel Spit™  
  
Tiara: Cool!  
  
Air: Using an Angel Spit™ to revive a fallen female party member... I'll have to remember that trick... 


	29. Let's play Fort

Airhead: Ok, let's go.

Air: Go where?

Tarot: Duh, to Charcoal Billy-Bob's Big Barn o' Charcoal bowls

Air: Why do we want to go there?

Tarot: TO GET A GODDAMN CHARCOAL BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO IT DOESN'T!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: NO!

Air: Does that stand for-

Tarot: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DRIVE ME CRAZY??!!

Air: Does that-

Tarot: No.

Teal 197097: Air amazingly has a point, why do we need a Charcoal Bowl?

Tarot: Weren't you paying attention?

Airhead, Tiara, Teal 197097, and Air: No.

Tarot: ugh, there was a Goth-

Tiara: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

Tarot: [sigh] There was a person in Rowdy who said he saw someone go to Onion, It could just be another G-o-t-h, but there's a 1/1000000000000000000000 chance that It's You-know-who

Air: You mean Voldemort?

Tarot (sarcastically): Yes, Lord Voldemort is going to Onion.

Air: We better get professor Quirrel to help us.

Tiara: Air, Quirrel died in book 1, and besides, he was Voldemort's Slave, and besides, THAT WAS A WORK OF FICTION!!!

Air: Does that stand for Teal Hats Are Too Wooly And Sticky And Worthless Orders, Really, Kangaroo Offspring Farts Fuel Ions Cleaner then "Ion Orange Nut"?

Airhead: Air, next time you make an acronym, will it at least make sense?

Air: No

And so they finally go to that charcoal bowl place

Charcoal Billy-Bob: Why haldo to ya'll, I'm Charcoal Billy-Bob o' Charcoal Billy-Bob's big barn o' charcoal bowls. How can I help you? Would you like a Charcoal-Bowl?

Tarot (sarcastically): Noooooooo, we just came here to look at the hay...

Charcoal Billy-Bob: Well we don't use hay here... We use alfalfa, natural hay.

Teal 197097: Hay and alfalfa is the same thing.

Charcoal Billy-Bob: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle's cousin's sister's cat's brother's killer! That's a crazy-

Tarot: CAN WE JUST GET A GODDAMN CHARCOAL BOWL??!!

Air: Do-

Tarot: Air, you know the answer to that question.

Charcoal Billy-Bob: Well you can have a plain ol' Black one, a normal guy. You can have a Jesus Charcoal Bowl, it'll walk on water and turn it into wine. You can have a climb-climb charcoal Bowl , which can walk up a cliff, or the fabled Gold Charcoal Bowl which can do all the above things! Which do you want?

Tarot: How does the Jesus Charcoal Bowl walk on Water?

Billy: Yes the Gold Charcoal Bowl-

Tarot: And wouldn't we fall of the climb-climb one?

Billy: Golden Beauties ; they're a natural wond-

Tarot: JUST ANSWER MY FREAKING QUESTIONS!!!!!!!

Air: Does that stand for Jewish Uzbekistanis Steal Trees And Nougat Starting Wednesdays Every Recess-

Tarot: Shut up.

Teal 197097: The Gold Charcoal Bowl isn't real.

Billy: Huh?

Teal guy: I saw someone painting a Black Charcoal Bowl Gold outside.

Billy: Well naturally the, umm, I'LL GIVE YOU A FREE CHARCOAL BOWL IF YOU KEEP IT SECRET.

Air: Deal.

And so they went with the charcoal bowl out of the ranch and to the swamp

Air: Ok, let's go cross that swamp for reasons I can no longer remember!

And they go to the swamp

Air: Okay, now that you're all in my backpack or something, we can all fit on the charcoal Bowl, let's go.

[Note: for best results, read the following part while humming the chicken dance.]

[Or not.]

Teal guy: Let's go.

Charcoal Bowl: Work Work.

The Charcoal Bowl takes off going really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really slow.

Tarot: How anti-un climactic.

Tiara: Huh?

The charcoal Bowl takes off and soon runs into the Mildew SoreThumb who is "standing" up and looking really intimidating.

Air: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Anaconda!!!!!!

Tarot: Full Speed Ahead!

The Charcoal Starts running really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fast. Soon it reaches the Anaconda thing, and begins to run up its "body".

Airhead: How is it that this normal charcoal bowl can climb up this 90 degrees snake?

Tarot: You heard us, all the charcoal bowls are the same, but painted.

Air: Did you say 90 degrees?

Airhead: Yeah.

Air: Wow, I knew Snakes were warm-blooded, but THAT warm?

Tarot: Air, You're an idiot.

Teal Guy: How is it that this conversation has been going on so long if we're going really fast?

Air: Not Really fast. Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fast.

Suddenly they get to the head of the Snake-wall, and the Snake lunges a bit and eats the charcoal Bowl in one bite.

[End humming if by chance you were]

Air: Shit.

They fall down and land in the swamp.

Tarot: We're wet with mucky water; we're being chased by a snake-thing-

Airhead: Run!!!!!!!!

They do, and soon they get a shore. On the shore (they're on the one opposite where they started) they see a Giant Snake, Dead.

Tarot: Isn't that the exact same Snake we just ran away from, but dead?

Teal guy: No. You see, our minds knew subconsioscially that we must be faster if we wish to end our Journey-type-thing. We were going slow and letting the man with the nasty name get away, so our minds played a trick on us to make us go faster. Together, our minds acted using the cerebral cortex vortex mortix tortoise to make the apparent image of the snake, taking the image from the opposite shoreline. The snake we ran away from was just an image in our whatever-the-hell part of the brain I said, making us go faster.

Airhead: That was the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and I travel with Air.

Air: I'm annoying!!!

Tarot: I agree.

Air and Airhead: With Me?

Tarot: With both of you; Teal whatever-the-hell-number-that-is, are you implying that our charcoal bowl ran up and was eaten by a figment of our imagination?

Teal Guy: Yes!

[Long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, pause]

Tiara: Makes sense to me.

Air: I get it.

Tarot: Ok.

Airhead: Makes perfect sense.

Air: Let's go into those caves.

And so they go into those caves. But what dangers await our heroes? Find out by reading more. You can go read more.

Air: Wow. A cave maze. How original.

Tarot: Hey, don't bag the cave.

Air: Huh?

They go through the cave and soon meet The Guys from Turkey.

Rambo: Hello.

Macarena: I'm Macarena, I'm new. I'm going to step you every stop of the way sorry other way around because you're getting in our way not the other way around HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Pornoroth went to Funion™ our base I'm not supposed to say that but I did Oops HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Crude: Macarena, you talk too much.

And so they travel out of the caves and a million people get mad about all the narration

Air: Wow, what's that?

The camera shows a humongous **PLAYDOH REACTOR BADBADBAD **with a, umm...

Tarot: Let's just go in and have them explain.

Tiara: Good Plan.

They enter the reactor and climb to the top; soon they see a man waiting.

Man: Hello, welcome to Fort Condom

Tarot: I really hope you mean condominium.

Man: No. I can see you're very strong. This, it's a reactor and a condom. Looks

like there's a special materia up in the Playdoh Reactor. Then came the Condoms, so

GOOD GUY dispatched the troops to get rid of the condom and the people on this

mountain and to get the materia from the Reactor and steal the condom. Unfortunately, we don't have the ability to fight GOOD GUY ourselves, and they made a whole new group dedicated to fighting us. That's why we have hired soldiers to help us. As our sponsor you can help us with a contribution or by fighting alongside of us... What do you think? You want to join us in our fight? You want to fight the group of soldiers known as "The Trojan Men"? Only you can prevent our deaths! What do you say? Will You fight??!!

Air: Nah.

Tarot: Let's go.

And they do.

Air: Let's go to Funion™

Teal 197097: But first, let's run around in that grass [points to grass]

Tiara: COOL!!

Airhead: I haven't spoken much!

After a while of running around...

Battle start: (enemies: ninja (x1))

Female Ninja: Hello there, I'm going to fight you for no reason!

Air: Cool!

Ninja: Fire

Air: OUCH!!! Limit: COWARDLYER!!!!!!!!!

Ninja: OW! You spiky headed jerk! One more time!

Air: Not interested.

Ninja: Okay, my name is Euphoria. I'll just join you and lureyoutomyhometownwherei'llstealyourmateria

Air: I have no idea what you said, but welcome aboard!

I'm very sorry that I haven't updated in such a long time: My cousin who I haven't seen in two years was visiting for a while, and for me family takes priority over Idiotsy. I hope there are no hard feelings. Also, sorry that this chapter isn't very funny, I think I've jumped the shark.


	30. DSR casts Life 3

Several people are lying down in the middle of a field: There's a spiky-haired boy carrying a two-by-four, a buff Mr. T rip-off with a tennis racket welded to his wrist, a girl who the aforementioned two are drooling over, another, more unpopular girl who has the misfortune of being a white mage, a crazy wolf/human hybrid with a lengthy number for a surname, and a recently-joined ninja. The boy is Air, the buff guy Tarot, the girl Tiara, the nerd Airhead, the hybrid Teal 197097etc… and the ninja Euphoria.

Air: So… we've been lying in this field for about a year now, right.

Tarot: Yep.

Tiara: You think everybody forgot about us.

Teal guy: Probably. I doubt they'll even read this chapter. They've all probably unsubscribed to DSR's author alert.

Euphoria: Who are they?

Air: The three people who used to read this before the author stopped caring.

Airhead: So what do you think cause him to write this chapter then, if not for fame, fortune, or reviews?

DSR: Boredom more than anything.

Air: You're back!

DSR: Yep. Let me explain.

Enter flashback

It was about a year ago. My cousin was visiting so I was spending even less time on FIVII than normal. When I finally started writing chapter 29, she asked about this story. I showed her. However, I noticed something odd.

From my first chapter to the one I was writing at the time, my writing and joke telling styles had dramatically changed. There were still some similarities, however. For example, I still used so many jokes that were stolen from other places that I should have about 5,000 lawsuits right now. I still relied on random humor that came from nowhere (like Mrs. Strutzermeyer, Compory, and the goth-filled town.) And I still was thoroughly weird and wacky. Still, I was amazed at it, and embarrassed when I read some of my older stuff. Upon rereading chapter 29, it also became clear to me that my writing was way too weird after seeing some of my cousin's expressions. I decided to take a small break from writing.

Soon, I forgot about FIVII. Not about the whole thing, I could never forget it, I just forgot almost all of the aspects of the story. I knew it was a parody, but that was a about it.

Recently, I decided to go back and look at my old work, something I hadn't done in over a year. I was still embarrassed about some parts, but all in all I actually liked it. I realized that my humor was weird, but it wasn't bad, just… different. I decided that with my new ideas of humor, I would attempt to write more of this parody. And that's why this chapter is here.

End Flashback

Air: That wasn't so much a flashback as it was a monologue.

DSR: Who cares, the important thing is: We're back.

Everyone: Woo!

DSR: Now just one more thing remains, you've been lying here for a year now, why haven't you died yet?

Airhead: Oh yeah, we survived by eating our mataria.

Euphoria: WHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Teal 197097: What's her problem?

DSR: Insanity.

Yes, It's true. FIVII is back. I might also continue FIX, but I'm not sure about that yet. Oh well. Look forward to the next chapter, a normal one (that is, normal in the world of Final Idiotsy.)


End file.
